by xenonia @ deviantART |
This is a little awe-inducing for two reasons: one, because I feel it was last December a couple months ago, and two, because this is "the final round." The month when all the "big stuff" is supposed to happen. I'm excited to see how things progress in the upcoming weeks. My Pisces outlook just puts more of an emphasis on transformation and whatnot, although Michele Knight did say New Year's Eve would be a powerful day for a good majority of us.
Today also marks the end of Nano. To be honest, I'm not satisfied with how things came out this year, but I didn't have much control over that. I still won, but a lot of it was fluff, so despite being called a "winner," I don't consider myself one this year. It's slightly disappointing; however, I realize that I don't need a scheduled national event like this to be able to write a book in a month. I'm certain that one day, Crucible and every other story I'm meant to share with the world will be written at the exact time it's meant to be written, and will be published at the exact time it's meant to be published. I can only go with the flow and let myself be guided. In fact, it reminds me of the opening narration of the first episode of Merlin:
"No young man - no matter how great - can know his destiny. He cannot glimpse his part in the great story that is about to unfold. Like everyone, he must live and learn."
While I feel drawn to follow a specific path, I won't ever know exactly how my path will ultimately affect the story. This is why I think the "arrival" of Merlin at this point in time is faultless. Right when I was toying with a perspective based on pre-scripting, I feel nudged in the direction of this show, which basically teaches the same thing. Even though Merlin was aware of his fate, he never knew exactly how he would be acting upon it. It reminds me of the Crystal Cave episode, where he sees the future - Morgana killing Uther - and does everything in his power to stop her, only to find that the future he saw unfolded just the way it was presented to him.
You know what this show teaches/emphasizes for me? To live in the moment. You may be aware of what you're "meant to do," but that doesn't mean you should live in the future. Merlin knew he had to protect Arthur at all costs, but he didn't know all the dangers that would put Arthur in peril at a given moment. He had to act in the present.
Anywho. I'm feeling a lot better today - good enough to be able to sit at my desk. My poor desktop has been shut off for the past few days; I feel kinda bad. His tower is dusty, too, but we don't have any air cans to clean him. Hmm.
I remembered my dream in decent detail this morning. I haven't remembered my dreams well for a while. The content was humorous because it was Merlin-inspired (oh, give me a break - I've been watching back-to-back episodes for the past 4 days). But I won't go into detail because it's not all that interesting.
In other news, I'm excited to work on Crucible because I have a lot of new ideas and revisions to make that will - with any hope - finally bring me down a solid path toward completion. I'm probably going to do some more research and reference-seeking today, and maybe some world-building, too, if I can sit long enough to do so.
I may also begin tuning in to the readings I have to do for peeps at SF. Taking some notes on the energies and whatnot. And speaking of readings, I ordered myself the Archeon Tarot deck last night because I noticed that it kept dropping in price. There were a few other decks I was keeping my eye on, but the Archeon deck dropped from $18 to $13, so I took that as a sign and grabbed it before it could increase in price again. I also bought an Alex Grey calendar with it.
Although I was straying away from the Archeon deck - because I found other decks that I felt could teach me "tarot" better - I think this one might be a good "starting" deck despite not having much story to the illustrations. Fortunately, it has some good symbolism to it, so the illustrations aren't "empty" like those in the Fallen Angel deck. The tarot deck - or decks, I should say - I'm keeping my eye on are the Book of Shadows volumes. The BoS deck is split in two volumes: As Above and So Below. So Below releases in 2013, so I haven't seen what the cards look like, but I was pretty interested in the As Above deck, despite the cards being kind of "empty." The illustrations are gorgeous, and the cards themselves are Wiccan-inspired, which is a beautiful alternative to the standard arcana. However, when I look at these cards - or the ones I've seen, anyway - some of them don't speak to me much. I would have to see the entire deck. But I'm in no rush to acquire this deck, especially since As Above is $20. I'll sit and wait until my funds improve and/or the price drops. Maybe if I get enough money for Yule/Christmas, I'll consider making the investment (although I should probably be saving my money for more important things).
Shiva has silently withdrawn for the moment. I'm guessing he figured he did his job. I suspect he'll be back in time, though, ready to destroy my perspective again to present a new, more fitting one. Who knows how long this one will last...
Time to be a bit productive (I hope).
Evaah
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