Day of Rest

"Sea of Serenity" - by Rassouli

Aghh. Crapcakes. 
I remembered my dream this morning and even took a moment in bed to sit and think about it, but the second I began thinking about what I had to do today, it all vanished. Now I just remember one brief dream about a cardinal, although that's actually quite significant, because cardinals are my totem, and they don't visit my dreams often. This is a reminder of humility, of nobility and grace... so I need to incorporate that, methinks. 

Today's draw is for Day of Rest, which focuses on how I can walk my path in a relaxed and confident manner. I drew Yule, which kind of represents the "new dawn," or, at least, the gradual return of light. This can also indicate an ending or some kind of change; I also interpret beginnings of creativity/fertility, and reaping final rewards before a new cycle. But the emphasis here is on light/the sun, which shines through from behind the trees and the two characters depicted. Interesting. 

I had a very productive day yesterday. Although I still haven't decided whether it's wise to share content on the internet from a project that hasn't been published yet, I did discover a most fabulous list of questions that helps one with world-building (especially in regard to magic/fantasy), which is perfect for Winterspell. It's a bloody long list of questions though - a whopping 33 pages in word with 12 point font... but it's so worth it, because it's forcing me to really immerse myself in this world. Indeed, there's a lot of staring at the screen (or out the window) contemplating, and a lot of back-spacing... and sometimes I just want to skip a part and go to the more interesting questions. By the time I finish, I will really know the world of Eron, though. And yesterday, I contributed 5,600 words to this world-building.

I also did some reading - one of my favorites, City of Bones, by Martha Wells. This is not to be confused with Cassandra Clare's Mortal Instruments series, which I haven't read. Martha Wells is one of my favorite authors; I wish I had the money to spend on more of her books. 

(Oh Shiva - I keep looking at all this dust that's coating my desk... no wonder I sneeze 2-3 times each day. I really need to clean in here.)

Looking forward to today because everyone else in the house is going to be seeing that Django film, which means complete and utter quiet for me. At this point, I'm grateful for anything that gets my brother or dad out of the house for a couple hours. I hate to say it, but it's becoming increasingly difficult to deal with my dad's controlling energy, and my brother's nosy, arrogant behavior. In fact, I butted heads with my dad last night while we were playing Settlers of Catan, because he and mom just did some big-time cleaning in the kitchen, and he told me I couldn't leave my tea mug and fork out on the counter to reuse anymore. I told him this was stupid, because it's just one mug and tiny fork on a counter that has now been completely wiped clean of stuff, and he made comments about how he's tired of living in a "sty." So now I put said mug/fork in the pantry out of sight because it would piss him off if I left it out. 

I mean, I get it. We do have a lot of stuff. It's nice to see some open space in the kitchen. But my dad hates clutter most out of any of us, so when he demands things be clean/cleared, he gets really strict about it, and we have no choice but to obey his will - otherwise we risk pissing him off (and when my dad's pissed off, he makes it really obvious even though he may be completely silent). Forget about the feelings of everyone else in the house. Forget the fact that my dad spends the most time away from the house. Nope - it's all up to him.

But I digress. 

I'm trying not to think about the fact that I'm back in school a week from tomorrow. Eight days. That's all I have left. But I have to roll with it. I have to enjoy it and remember why I'm there: not to follow my parents' path, but to assist me with my own. The days will be long; however, I'll manage just as I did with last year's winter and spring quarters (although I'm not too excited to be coming home at 8 PM). And then... I'll just have spring quarter, and I'll have another lovely 3-month break to be as productive and/or lazy as I'd like.