The High Perspective

"In the Beginning" - by Rassouli

A did yet another follow-up Dream-walk for IQ, which resulted in a conversation that left me contemplative for much of the day. We were discussing how we perceived reality and physical life, because we had somehow gotten onto the topic of having one of your self-aspects incarnated at the same time as you... and that topic had me rethinking this new perspective of mine. It brought up a lot of questions whose only answers seem to be "I don't know, because it's too vast for me to understand."

But I felt like I was on to something, so I wanted to explore it a bit. At first, I wondered if "perspective" extends beyond the physical. It's natural to assume it does, but I then thought: isn't perspective affected by personality type, archetypes, ideals, beliefs, and so on? At least here in the physical? I mean, I could compare myself to my family right now... I'm the only one of them all who is so intensely interested in modern/new age spirituality. All my experiences, archetypes, ideals, and so on have allowed me to see the world in different ways. I went from hating the world to loving it; from disliking people with different beliefs to embracing them, and so on. My mother, on the other hand, has stuck with one specific set of beliefs all her life, and thus has seen the world from that one perspective. 

But what is perspective, truly? Is it the sum of all parts here in the physical? To me, it would make sense that the universe or Source energy would have many perspectives. What good would just one perspective be if you're trying to explore, expand, and experience? 

What is it that creates distinction? I used to say it was intention, but now I'm thinking it's perspective. However, I'm now thinking back to that brief period of time when I didn't resonate with the idea of higher self. It would certainly make things less confusing. Where would you draw the line on "who's who," particularly when it came to things like other self-aspects being incarnated or, God forbid, soul connections? In fact, that was another thing I thought about recently... whether "soul connections" are just self-aspects. But see, that creates confusion on identity. If the SC recalled everything relating to your High Perspective, then yes, it'd be easy to say, "Oh, you're a self-aspect." However, if that SC seemed to have its own backstory - so to speak - what would that mean? That it's the projection of another High Perspective? And if so, why the connection at all? 

My answer for that is simple. It's just the technical stuff that confuses me. I guess that's the problem with a perspective that accepts all realities as possible. I imagine if there are distinct High Perspectives, then infinite realities are overlapping and connecting in ways I can't even fathom.

Here's the thing, though. I'm only truly aware of myself as Evaah. Many people are convinced that when they die, they'll be taken up and "move on" to something new and different, as a different being or what have you. But I've been thinking... what if that isn't true at all? How can we "move on" to something when time doesn't exist in spirit? From Andromeda's point of view, lives are always in motion. You can't take away energy from a life if there's no beginning or end. That's a very human-oriented viewpoint... it takes the stance of someone who wants to end his/her suffering here on Earth - not someone who wants to experience life and what it has to offer. 

I thought briefly that perhaps when we die, the cycle repeats itself. At least that would explain why people tend to have the "life review" thing. Maybe the "life review" isn't a review at all... just the cycle repeating itself again. After all, they say it's every thought, every moment, every decision, and so on... living your life all over again. For all we know, this could be the millionth time we've lived this life. Yeah, that seems a bit farfetched, and maybe pointless. But when you think about it, it sorta makes sense in a crazy way. 

Andromeda doesn't see any lives as "ended." It has created a projection - Evaah - to explore a certain arrangement of archetypes, goals, experiences, etc. Andromeda observes through Evaah. It plans every bit of the story and then observes. But just because Evaah dies doesn't mean the story's over. Andromeda still has that book. It can flip back to the beginning and read it all over again, or skip to its favorite parts. The energy of the main character - Evaah - never dies, because it's eternal within the pages of the book. 

Whew. This is getting to be a bit mind-boggling. I should probably give myself a mental break... I'm sure Andromeda will dump all the right words in my head soon enough, like always.

Angelic Interference

by Junedays @ deviantART

Well I just had quite the interesting experience a little while ago.

I did a Dream-walk for H, and I saw some intriguing things there, including her spiritual/mental core (a fascinating layout, too, by the way... strong emphasis on duality). But the real shocker came when I was exploring one of her other lives. It was one with which I was only partially familiar; I had done a painting on it several months ago but never gleaned much from it. So I was able to explore it a bit more in depth during the Dream-walk.

Just as I was about to gather some last details, though, I ran into someone. Like, I stretched Genesis' wings to start flying off, and when I did, this dude pretty much comes out of the ceiling, and I smack into him. I don't want to go too much in detail for the sake of H's privacy, but we determined this guy was "angelic"... and a well-known one, too. That's the second reason why I was caught off guard.

This bewilders me. Considering the nature of the Dream tool, I never thought it possible that other energies/characters could interact with me, as in approach me (rather than me approaching them). I always thought myself an observer within the Dream - and occasionally, a catalyst (although now that I think about it, I've been a catalyst for everyone whose Dreams I was allowed to visit). So for this angelic to burst out of nowhere and grab me to tell me to stop digging, well... you can imagine my surprise. 

Angels. I never really resonated much with them. A couple years ago I tried to connect with Michael and Gabriel and Raphael, but I never really got anywhere with them. I even have drawings of Michael and Gabriel on my bedroom wall that I keep meaning to take down because.. well. I don't know. I think I resonate with them more as just other energetic projections... no different from anything else. Same thing with dragons, fairies, unicorns, merpeople, and so on. 

I think that's why I love this technique of "Dream-walking." I love to see what defines another perspective's physical reality. What kind of things are they creating for their physical projections? What aspects of themselves are they extending to these projections? It's all so fascinating.

So what does this mean for me? I've just reached another milestone with this Dream thing: someone/something approaching me. This will probably happen again - not just with H, since I'm supposed to have a follow-up session with her - but with other people, too. What kinds of things will I stumble upon? How much will I be able to change or affect?

Could this be the beginnings of that Shapeshifter archetype? I get the feeling this could lead to lucid dreaming, astral voyaging, and a bunch of other cool things. I won't get too hopeful, though. I'll just sit and wait and see what happens, although I guarantee it'll probably be some pretty cool stuff, judging by recent experiences.

I guess something cool did happen on this "energetically powerful" day. I'm curious to see if anything else cool happens before I go to bed in a few hours. Hmm. 

Neutrality of Self

Note to self: meditations seem to improve sleep. Not by a significant amount, but enough to help me fall and remain asleep for most of the night. 

I recalled my dream from this morning. It felt real; I was doing a Dream-walk for IQ but I was doing it lying down, so I fell asleep... and I could "see" the chat in the reading room, so I watched them talk about how long it was taking, and how IQ wouldn't receive her reading. I felt pretty bad. Haha.

I've done a few nightly meditations now, and wanted to comment on a few things I've been seeing in them. For starters, when I travel to the "core," I see a huge sphere of whitish-rainbow energy. It reminds me of the GW2 weapon Bifrost. That translucent/transparent rainbow-ish effect. It rests on a single smooth, white platform, suspended amongst space... the universe. I interpret this as my core energy collective. Andromeda in its purest form.

What holds my interest, though, are the "guardians" of this energy. Well, maybe not guardians, but personifications. Avatars. I don't know. Every time I go there, I only see two. In fact, I've only been seeing the white one in full, although I still feel the dark one is there. It makes me wonder why Andromeda chooses to show itself to me as a dual nature, seeing how I resonate more with the idea of neutrality. Then again, perhaps the distinction is there so I can explore both of these sides. I feel these just might be my primary aspects... I consider Genesis as an aspect, but if anything, it feels like an extension of the dark personification.

Funny... a few months ago, I would've disliked trying to explore all these aspects. Would've thought it was pointless. But now, I find it fascinating. Exploring the aspects of others is fascinating, too. I think it provides a nice look into our rich and vast existence...

I need names for those two. I think I'll call the white one Artemas and the dark one Lyssa. Seems appropriate. 

Along with all this medi stuff... I'm wanting to start doing channeled art each night. I wanted to try a specific method where I focus more on the lines being drawn.. each mark the pencil makes... rather than the image as a whole. I mean, I do it a little bit with my regular channeled stuff, but I usually have an idea of what it is I'm supposed to be drawing (doesn't mean I always understand though). 

So I tried it with Pierre last night. Put on a fire medi and just got in the zone. I admit the process didn't entirely work out the way I wanted... I kinda just reverted back to the way I normally do it. But I'll still try it a few more times to see if it's something that may be of use to me. I will say, though... it did its job. I was in the freaking zone. Fifteen minutes felt like two, and my mind was focused entirely on what I was doing, so I can still count it as meditation. 

After that, I did my usual self-exploration and found myself in an odd sort of place... it was like a red planet.. red soil... red/yellow atmosphere. Royal blue/indigo plants. Even I was red. I spent a bit of time here and then just went with the flow... 

Today is supposed to mark an energetically powerful day, as far as astrology is concerned. I'm curious to see if anything out of the ordinary happens. But I guess I'll just spend the day as I have been... working on my novel, doing readings, watching HIMYM...

Sensation of Crimson

"Sensation of Crimson" - by Rassouli

Jesus Christ. Another restless night. And what's worse is that I went to bed with a headache hoping that sleeping would help, but it's still there. Very slight, but still there.

What's very strange is that my sleep pattern was almost exactly the same as it was yesterday. I didn't fall asleep until sometime after midnight (after tossing and turning for a while), and I proceeded to wake again at 4, 6, 7, and ultimately, 8:40. I find that kind of... odd.

I did recall a portion of my dream, though. I had traveled either out of state or just a long way from home for some kind of art convention or meeting, and I had written down directions there, but forgot to write them for coming home. I had gotten out of the building after the meeting and spent a long time trying to find my car. It had become dark by the time I found it. I also happened to meet up with a couple of my art school friends, D and M (can't recall the third one) - I told them about my predicament. Then the scene kinda shifted and I was out finding my car somewhere else, in a busy parking lot. I think someone was being arrested right where my car was, but I somehow managed to back up all the way out to a clear aisle (damn, I was a pro). I also recall trying to find a safe place to check Google directions and write them down. 

So long story short... not knowing my way home. I'm stumped, though. What does this parallel in my real life? Hm. Maybe the answer will come to me later.

I wanted to note a few cool occurrences from yesterday: one, a Dream reading that turned out to be quite accurate yet again. My vision and impressions were a lot clearer this time, and this person is usually hard to read. The Dream reading actually made this person dizzy - she/he had to go out and ground! It was pretty awesome though, because I got to see a "life" in which the person had no physical form... was just an observing energy. 

Two, I was doing a dream interpretation for someone (which unfortunately kept me up later than I would've liked, but that's okay), and got a clairvoyant flash that related to the real life situation - I've never experienced anything like that. I thought that was pretty nifty.

And three, while I was trying to fall asleep last night, I had a peculiar but rather lucid vision. In fact, it felt physical at first because I was lying there and I felt like I had golden light shining on my eyelids. I didn't open my eyes but it reminded me of sunlight, like the odd-colored light you see after a storm or something. I began to see these bushes and trees, like I was in a garden, and people around me, too. Everything was so bright and clear - as if I were actually there. The people were sort of cowering... hiding from something, but I don't know what. It was still an intriguing little vision though, so I wanted to jot it down. 

So jeez. I don't know what's up with my clairvoyant sense lately, but perhaps it's finally getting powered up. Whether this is temporary or permanent, I don't know, but I'm curious to see if more intriguing experiences pop up soon. Then again, I have been practicing my readings a lot lately; maybe that practice has finally caught up to me. I'm pretty excited.

The last thing I wanted to mention: I spent a lot of time reading the University of Metaphysical Science's website, catalog, and so on. It's a freaking dream come true. I casually mentioned it to my dad when he popped his head in yesterday, but he jokingly asked me if they had communes (this stems from "the talk") and then left the room. The courses they offer are amazing, and cover almost everything I'd like to learn about (from eating naturally to intuitive skills to even managing a spiritual business), and if you prepay, or pay up-front, they only charge $1995 for tuition for ALL THREE degrees (Bachelor, Master, Doctorate). They're non-profit and seem like they really care about the students going on to help the world. They even advise against taking out loans for the program. Oh - and they have a retreat in Ecuador going on right now.

I think this would be an awesome thing to have behind me. That way, I'm not just some random girl on the internet doing psychic readings to support herself. Having these credentials behind me would not only help me look like a more capable intuitive artist/psychic, but would also come very much in handy if I were to, say, be based at a shop like P&D, or go on to teach lectures and workshops, which, I understand, are quickly gaining in popularity. 

Gah. It's almost too good to be true. I've got the time off to do it. I could be starting this month if I talked to my dad about it. But I'm not sure whether my casual introduction will capture his attention (I literally said: "I just found the most beautiful thing ever: the University for Metaphysical Sciences."), and somehow, I'd feel a little guilty if I went up to him and begged him to let me do this. 

Let's see what Andromeda has in store...

Where the River Flows

Wow. I just had a very crappy night of sleep. I don't know what the deal is. Is it my bed? Is it because I still think too much? Granted, I skipped meditation last night because I've been trying to fall asleep earlier... I don't like waking up close to 9. But still. I was tossing, turning... would get hot, throw off blanket, neck started to cramp, and then I got startled awake by my dad at 6 AM because he dropped the milk carton. Now I have a small sleep deprivation headache... and I'm feeling just a teensy grumpy. But it's okay. I have nothing to do today but chill. I'll work on my mini aura readings at my own pace. I'll work on my novel. I'll cook that delicious orzo dish. Watch some HIMYM. Talk with lovelies. Channel. 

I've noticed a return in dragon imagery. Almost as much as big cats. Two nights ago in my medi session, Pierre swooped in to spend time with me. My intention was to see Andromeda again, but nope. So I sat with Pierre and he surrounded me with fire.. giving me energy for my passions. Some nights, when I'm in bed trying to freaking fall asleep, I get visuals of him lying beside me, either in human guise or in his draconic one... it's kind of nice. I do feel like his presence is very appropriate seeing how this point in my life is all about following passions. That might also explain the appearance of Leon, since I've been working hard at my skills and studies.

The main point of this post, however, was to note a most interesting occurrence... recently - as in the past few days - I've noticed related opportunities almost falling into my lap. First, I get an email from that channeling group I've been keeping an eye on, saying that the organizer is planning for workshops starting the 23rd of this month. Then, an old mentor of mine announces in a FB group that she's holding an 8-session mediumship course. After that, I notice someone on tumblr talking about starting a "psychic network" of sorts. And through that, I discover the University of Metaphysical Sciences, which allows you to earn a Bachelor's, Masters, Ph.D or DD in metaphysics. This is especially good for those who want to write books, teach, do healing or counseling, etc. 

Certification is something that I've recently been thinking about. If I plan to turn intuitive/psychic art into a real career, I'd like to have credentials behind me. It'd definitely be beneficial to me business-wise. I have a lot of research to do on that. I do, however, like the sound of the University of Metaphysical Sciences. I have to nose around on their site more, but get this: they say most students finish their studies in one year. Coincidence much? 

I think the cost of that program is around $2300-$2500, supplies included. That's not a whole lot for something that I'm actually interested in. Beats paying $10,000 a a quarter for something I have no interest in... I'm curious to see what my dad says about this, though. If I express interest in this school, will he think it's ridiculous? Will he let me do it?

But see... something really amazing happened a couple days ago. My parents watched that documentary called Happy, and it seems to be awakening something in my dad. I overheard him talking about life being short and asking my mom about doing something "big"... and then that evening she tells me he wants to go overseas and just think about what he wants out of life. He's even talking about getting a boat. I'm hoping this will help him to see more from my perspective. And if that's the case... well, I certainly wasn't expecting things to be this easy. Knock on wood.

I'm very curious to see where this river is flowing... it seems I'm passing through quite a bit of fertile land right now. 

The White Temple

So for the past couple nights, I've been visiting my own Dream to see what I can dig up. Interestingly enough, both times, I've felt "limited" - as though there's only a fixed number of spaces I can go right now. That's just as well, because I don't want to feel overwhelmed, and there's probably a reason I'm not supposed to be exploring stuff anyway. I considered visiting Eron to see if I could scrape up more details on Zenoheria, but I was drawn instead to a white temple, in which the personification of Andromeda dwells. 
It was interesting - Andromeda took a different form between these two nights. The first night, it resembled the guise I often put Adonai in when I believed in an "original Source." Draped in gold, long, dark hair, golden eyes... but last night, it took an almost opposite form: short white hair, draped in white, lavender eyes. And this time, it embraced me. I tried talking to it, asking it questions, but I felt it was inappropriate, and that I didn't need to... so I just let it embrace me. It was such a lovely moment. 

I expected Andromeda to change forms, but not overnight. I'm curious to see what it does in tonight's visit. 

Speaking of the Dream tool, I find it's working pretty well. I've been using it when I can, and even visited a Dream based around another world (the guy was curious about his exoplanetary lives), which was freaking beautiful. I did have to drop a list of readings recently, though, because my energy's being directed toward my writing first and foremost. I'm trying to make the most of my time before I'm forced to the "plan" my dad and I come up with.

While I'm mentioning padre... the whole overseas thing is still up in the air. For all we know, he might not be leaving at all, especially since his mentor has him possibly working another job in another city. I'm kind of antsy, because I'm half-hoping they will leave. I keep thinking about all the things I'd be able to do without my parents there to judge or question or interrupt me (mainly my readings / medi sessions... ugh). But then I think about all the stuff I'm going to be left to do on my own and I think "No rush..." 

My dad keeps saying I can't spend my life behind a computer, but I don't think he understands me when I say I want to go and get involved in groups and related activities. And now, if he does end up staying while I'm off from school, I'm going to have to fight him for Hans. I don't know if he would let me drive Hans if I told him I had groups and stuff I wanted to go to, and I'm sure as heck not driving Haloa until she has working brake lights. So.. yeah. I'm curious to see what his so-called "plan" is going to consist of.

In other words, I'm still in that limbo. Waiting to hear my fate, I guess. That's why I'm trying to make as much progress on my novel as I can. I want to be able to finish it and have it published during my year off... and if my dad tries to impede by forcing me to work... well, you know the rest. I still have other projects to work on, including that children's book for L and book cover for R. Hm.

It'll work out.

A Journey of Self-Exploration

"Within" - by kaiser-mony @ deviantART

Funny how things are conveniently and coincidentally placed in your path. It's so cool to think about all the things my High Perspective (as I now like to call it) is organizing behind-the-scenes... such as something I just so happened to stumble upon yesterday.

Observe the cause-and-effect:

1. SF crashes.
2. Because SF crashes and is down for the rest of the day, I once again start thinking about other forums as a means of extending my reach.
3. I find another forum, Spiritual Boards, which I signed up to a long while back at the request of someone at SF. 
4. At Spiritual Boards, I see a recent message from the admin: that SB will be closed because it just wasn't working out.
5. A few posts down, there's a thread that mentions the name Spirit Guide Sparrow, as well as a link to Sparrow's official website. I once spoke to Sparrow in the past; his information resonated with me at the time, so I clicked through because I was unaware he had an actual website.
6. After some nosing around, I stumble upon a topic he wrote about: Playing Roles, Acting out Potentials. I scroll down and see an image which states:

Many of you have vast resumes of past lives, and you have lived as many different characters and personalities. Do not be surprised when all of them seek to merge with one another as you develop spiritually. 

Sparrow goes on to encourage creating identities for yourself based on these personalities - using them to your advantage. Exploring and expressing them through forms of art and whatnot. But guess what? This goes along perfectly with what I've been focusing on in the past week or two. I've recently shifted into wanting to explore who I am as a perspective, and what ultimately encompasses "me." For so long, I've expressed little interest in this. I always wanted to explore outside myself... guides, other energies... I never really wanted to face myself. But I guess now I've reached the point where it's time I start learning.

To go along with this, I've developed an interest in identities and aspects... I nosed around in archetypes and even began exploring aspects to myself - one came through with the name Genesis right before I did a Dream reading for someone a week ago. And now, I'm beginning to wonder again if my boys really are other perspectives, or if they're self-aspects. It's possible they could be projections from other perspectives... for my benefit. Like energy imprints. Pierre is the only one I know was in another life with me. The other three boys... I have no idea. 

The point is, I'm being led to explore myself as a perspective. Perhaps I'll figure out "who" the boys are along the way. I can almost feel my High Perspective "watching"; I've decided to name it Andromeda... I feel that's most appropriate for it. 

I'm very excited to see what I discover. At least I see why now is the time I'm being led to take this journey. As expected, Andromeda has lined everything up so that I can reach this point at this specific time.

That's so freaking cool.  

Powerhouse

"Painting" - by Alex Grey

I own the Alex Grey calendar for 2013. Last month, I had noticed that the accompanying image for May aligned with the events and feelings I had had throughout the month: passion. It was fiery and powerful. I thought it was quite appropriate.

But then I turned over to June on Saturday and found myself in awe at the new featured painting, which I've placed at left. It inspired me - I began to feel hopeful, for this painting represents my goals and passions, and what I've been trying to strive toward. It represents my role of artist and creator while simultaneously acknowledging my view of art.

And guess what happened? On Saturday, the first of June, I became filled with such motivation and inspiration for my writing. I'd been working on the first draft of Crucible off and on for the past couple weeks, but was also working on other things, such as readings on SF and whatnot. But beginning Saturday, I just got into the freaking zone. I spent the whole day powering through pages. This happened again on Sunday, and a third time today - until I finished the last seven chapters and ultimately, the draft.

I think I've said this sometime before, but I love the feeling of finishing a draft, even if it's just that - a draft. I feel quite proud of myself because in only three to four weeks, I was able to not only outline the story (which I never do), but write it, as well. 

So I think my next step will be to reread it and begin jotting down things that need to be fixed, deleted, edited, added, and so on. I'll probably let it sit for a day or two before I do that (although I'm feeling very impatient and want to reread it now). But my goodness - I finally feel hopeful. Crucible has always been a pain in my ass, because it was always changing. So to have an actual finished draft and a rough outline for the sequel is a huge accomplishment for me. 

In related news, I'm trying to make it a goal to draw each day, although this isn't a strict goal. My overall goal is to do something creative each day. And seeing how I just wrote seven chapters (roughly 70 pages?) in the last 3 days... well. That definitely works. But I still would like to improve my technical skill for my art, so I'd like to draw or paint something as often as I can.

I'm wringing my hands just a teensy bit because the other day, my dad mentioned how we're going to sit down and work out a "plan" for me during my year off. I'm hoping he'll be lenient and let me make my own decisions. I already have my intuitive art site set up (I'm keeping it on a free domain for now; I'm trying to decide if I want to stick with Yola or try GoDaddy)... the only thing I need to do before publishing it is figure out payment options. I still don't have a Paypal, Google Wallet account, etc., so I still have to do that research and perhaps ask my dad about options, risks, and so on. 

It'll be quite the adventure.

I guess I'm off to paint something.