Yuletide

"Joy of Union" - by Rassouli

And without a moment's glance, "Christmas" is now over. 

It rained practically the whole day yesterday, blowing in another cold front, so now it's all cold and windy today. Good thing I have nowhere to be.

Having BB over was nice. We pretty much only talked for a few hours after our late lunch before she had to leave at 6. But as I expected, she came bearing gifts: a beautiful box filled with all sorts of accessories and trinkets for me, and some homey-type things for my parents, such as dish towels and tea. I was therefore empty-handed (and pissed), but I did send her away with some of my sweets, so it wasn't all bad. 

The only thing that ruffled my feathers was my dad asking how school was going for her, which led to the whole conversation about me not wanting to go to school, and BB's awkward inquiry of what I wanted to do in life (I never told her; only my brother truly knows). It then led to a whole spiel from my dad about how I should take up a job for "perspective" and how I'm lucky to be attending a school that would help me get a decent job and I was just so freaking irritated, trying to keep my cool, trying to play it off and change the subject.

I'm fighting like hell to maintain my optimism, my idealism. I don't want to live in a world where I have to pay to be able to live on it - where I have to basically be a slave to a grand system of greed. Why has no one tried to change anything? Can we not recognize the power we have as a collective? There are billions of people on this planet, yet everyone keeps their heads down, shuffling along like little sheep because they think, "We can't do anything, someone else will do it, nothing will change, it's the only way."

Pah.

Anyway... today's draw is for Yuletide, which focuses on how one can express her protective energy and/or attend to her family. The card that popped out for me was Mabon, which traditionally reflects the harvest. My own impressions - aside from "harvest" - are that of receiving "assistance" from another, or connecting to someone who has wisdom and guidance to offer. But the standard card meaning reflects weighing the consequences of a decision. Hmm... that kind of makes sense. Will have to stew on this one.

Speaking of cards, my Druid Craft deck is still out of stock, so I'm not quite sure when to expect it. I suppose they're taking their time because it's a less-popular deck. No idea. I guess I'm not in a hurry, though, especially since my brother is here... he'd be all nosy about it. 

I sat down with Lucifer instead of Leon to ask about this friendship problem because I decided to use my Fallen Angel oracle instead... haven't used it in a while. I pretty much asked for 3 cards to help me decide what I should do about this situation.  

Initially, I had my own idea about it: that I should let go. After all, this snippet had found its way to me a week ago or so:

Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

A soul mate's purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master.

But Luci had a different answer. He provided me with Amdusias, Orobas, and Gomory, whose keywords are harmony, honesty, and love. Amdusias is all about peace and friendship - gathering people of like minds. Orobas, about avoiding devious means of belittling others or guilty secrets. And Gomory... about romance or the renewal of existing love. 

Well, damn. Of course, the ego-based me wants to run and hide. It's sick of this. But "true" me doesn't want to let go. Quite the predicament... though it seems I have my answer. At least for now.

I finally received a brief annual reading from a member at SF. I had done my own annual reading last month, but wanted to see how this person's would compare. It wasn't a lot of detail, but the things this person mentioned pretty much gave me specifics to my own reading, which was nice. Now to just wait and see how it all plays out...

Here's another glimpse into the Winterspell world, with TSFH's "Identity Crime":