Desire

My dream themes were a little interesting. It was partly Merlin-inspired and partly Louisiana trip-inspired. I'm not entirely sure what was going on; I just know that I was on a trip. I remember being at my godfather's house (although it was an actual house and not the trailer), watching him as he painted. He doesn't paint. And it was pretty stinkin' good, too. I remember feeling a bit jealous. I was then at some kind of class/school where the teacher had our laptops for something... but I wasn't focused on that. I was focused on the "trip back to Georgia." 

The fun part? Apparently, we rode on the back of a dragon on our way over. I actually recall seeing this dragon in the yard, and speaking to it much like Merlin does (maybe not in dragonspeak though, lol). I also recall hearing my mom or dad mention that I would be in charge of directing the dragon. 

The last time I saw a dragon in my dream was when Pierre was active in my life. It was a kind of sentimental moment for me when I woke and realized that. As much as I'd like to think it was Pierre's energy present, I know it wasn't. Even my gut knows that much. 

Anywho. I'm feeling pretty excited because the inspiration for Crucible is rolling in. I'm hoping that means I'll be following a solid path, rather than one that keeps crisscrossing, backtracking, or hitting dead ends. Like I said before, though: I'm sure this project will be completed when it's meant to be.

Which brings me to my next point: I was reading some seriously profound stuff on my tumblr dash this morning. Particularly this tidbit:

"In an infinite fractal of rotation, how do you define the center? Every point is the center. You are the center of the Universe observing the Universe from your very own center. Wherever you select a point of observation in the fractal, that point becomes the center from which you are observing the Universe. That point becomes stillness. Why stillness? Because in that point now, all of the spins of the Universe cancel out. You need stillness in order to have a frame of reference for rotation. That is how singularity occurs. Singularity is the point at the center of your experience. That is the point of stillness from which you are observing the Universe."

Along with this were some other "universal consciousness" type posts that once again have got me thinking. I really enjoy being "universal." I love this perspective. But I just made a realization: the only reason why I keep tugging on the manifestation perspective is because I feel like I "need" it to be able to survive. 

Think about it: we are drawn to manifestation because we feel unhappy with our lives. We feel like we're lacking or missing something. We feel like we don't have enough. So we want the power to fix that... to fill in the "missing" information. To fulfill the heart's desires. 

Our society is built around earnings. It's a law of the world that if you can't pay for it, you can't have it. It reminds me of a quote I discovered several days ago: that we are born of/on Earth, but we have to pay to be able to live on it. Because of this system, we have been led to believe that we can't have something unless we can earn it. But guess what? This wasn't how things were back in the day. We were part of nature; therefore, we had just as much right to the land as every other living creature. We didn't separate ourselves from nature. All we were concerned with was being. 

So what is manifestation, really? A desire to attract stuff that we feel would make us happy. Of course, in this society, we don't exactly have a choice. There's little to no sense of equality in this area of life, so we have to work our butts off to acquire what should be rightfully ours. 

But if we take away the concept of manifestation, then we come to the idea that life is centered around being happy with what you have. Other life forms don't spend their time thinking about what they want to attract in their lives. They go with the moment, and deal with crap as it happens. They live simply: they sleep whenever they are tired, they eat whenever they're hungry, they bathe and play and ultimately exist. 

I'm contemplating this because I've been thinking about the future again, as I stated before. There's a lot in motion that I'm trying to keep track of, and I have to admit I'm getting a little nervous because things are speeding along, and thanks to this society, I'm worried for my future. I know where I want to be. But are those desires what I should expect to occur? What is desire? What leads us to want something? There are ego-based desires and soul-based desires... those that come from pure passion for something. Ego-based desires are easy enough to make sense of. They come from the ego's need for more. But soul-based ones? That's pure feeling right there. To me, that expresses universal intent. 

Adonai knows what it's like to just be. That's its natural state. But does it know what desire is? I don't think so. Because desire suggests that you are missing or lacking something. Adonai is the universe. Adonai doesn't lack anything. Maybe that's one of the pieces to the puzzle... physical existence allows us to experience desire. 

What do we do with that desire, though? What is it meant to reflect? 

Maybe "soul-based" desires aren't desires at all. But to understand this, I would have to over-stand the universal intent for incarnation. Physical life has a lot to offer for a presence like the universe. But does it come down to just being, or pursuing one's desires?

Will elaborate on this later...