Monday, December 10, 2012

There and Back Again

Somehow, this title seems overly appropriate.
But first... I want to mention my dream. This morning's dream was probably the most intense, detailed, and symbolic dream I've had in months. I feel like my dream recall is slowly improving, which means that there is information in these dreams I need to be aware of.

I already wrote about this morning's dream in my private blog - I even interpreted it and everything. So I just wanted to touch on the more important themes:

  • Impatience when it comes to performing a task that will take time (probably related to writing/art)
  • The need to maintain calm and collected demeanor/to become more compassionate
  • An obstacle stands in my way
  • I'm on a wrong or undesired path
  • I'm being a bit reckless but also am not being assertive enough
  • Feeling lost/going around in circles
  • Fear of the unknown, as well as a presence entering my life
  • Lots of energy/movement and choices
  • The name Ariadne

Ariadne. What's crazy about this is that off the top of my head, I couldn't remember which myth Ariadne was from. I looked it up and remembered she was part of the Minotaur/labyrinth myth. And guess what? There was a "labyrinth" theme in this part of the dream. Basically, I was Merlin (although still myself... I just possessed the name I guess) starring in my own episode... and I was running around this house that was pretty much a labyrinth in itself. There was a monster in it, too - based on my aunt. Yikes.

This caught me completely off guard. My subconscious, man. I'm impressed. But there was something else that caught me off guard: the appearance of a guide.

Now, before I went into dream-interpretation mode, I didn't initially recognize this character as a guide. But as I began to pick apart the pieces, I realized how fitting it was. In the house-labyrinth, I came across a character... I call him the "Mummy-man," because he was wrapped in mummy-like bandages. I didn't recognize him, but when I came across him in the house-labyrinth, he gave me advice. He told me that I would require this certain "spell" to be able to proceed down the road. In the end, I did use the spell, but it was revealed that he was the one who was behind the whole "labyrinth" game. 

By Adonai, how fitting is that part of the dream for this whole situation? After the shift in perspective in September, my guides were basically wrapped up and "preserved" for later. I then proceeded to wander aimlessly through a labyrinth of various perspectives that had me in circles, looking for answers, dealing with aspects of self (also symbolized in the dream). And now, after all that, I emerge as a powerful "sorcerer," facing final challenges, and finally coming to the conclusion that this was some kind of test/journey/quest that would ultimately make me stronger. The Mummy-man wasn't a villain. Even though he was revealed to be behind all of it, I didn't seem to care. I was at peace with it. 

Perhaps the bandages are unraveling off my guide-mummies. Because guess what else? I received a PM reading from someone on SF last night, and she told me that a male guide popped up (described as tall with dark blonde, wavy/curly hair) as she balanced hormonal glands; he announced: "It's not the way I would've done it, but it feels great, so I'm happy."

Although I'm not sure "who" this is, it definitely sounds like someone on my team, and it caught me off guard, because I never anticipated having my guides return. What would I use them for? Am I being pulled in a new direction? 

I was thinking about this a bit in bed last night, and it makes perfect sense. The whole September-to-present trip taught me a lot on how to approach life. I now focus more on unity, on seeing myself in all things. I understand that I shouldn't be complicating life. I feel differently when it comes to producing art and writing. I feel more connected to my world. I'm focusing entirely on experience and very little on "lessons." And so forth. And maybe that was the point.

Because I came to a realization: it doesn't matter what we believe, so long as we make the most out of our lives. With that in mind, I feel like I should just believe what I want to believe - anything that makes me happy. Will it matter in the end? Nope. Even if I feel like my own truth is "ultimate" (at least for myself), it doesn't subtract from the fact that the ultimate truth will never be obtained. So what am I striving for? Enjoying life as much as I can. That's why I don't regret being a "seeker." These past few months have been incredibly enlightening and empowering. 

Maybe it truly is about paving your own path (and as I glance out my window, I see my lovely cardinal guide in a neighbor's bush). 

And, to go along with this whole theme, is an apparently rare astrological event for today: a golden yod. I couldn't find a whole lot on what this event actually means when not included in someone's natal chart, but according to Michele Knight's astrological review for this week, the significance of this event for Pisces (and maybe other signs) is all about the "shift," and making a commitment to ourselves to have adventures, to step outside the box and travel (in more ways than one). She even thinks that this golden yod may be more powerful than the energy behind the 21st. But with a new moon on the 13th, this week seems to be all about rebirth, new cycles, new projects, higher consciousness, and so on... and this definitely aligns with what I've been receiving from myself and others. 

Wow. I'm excited. This dream was definitely a catalyst for me. 

I wanted to mention one last tidbit before I run off to do whatever. A couple weeks ago, a beloved friend of mine from SF gave me a piece of advice. At the time, I didn't resonate so much with it, because my perspective was such that I couldn't really apply it. But now, as I seem to be coming full circle, I realize that that piece of advice is much more applicable now. He said: "Make whatever you do a gift to God." Now, he actually didn't say that exactly; he had used an example, saying that back when he had a draining job, he would see his efforts/work as a gift to God. So back when I was first lamenting about having no foundations in an art-based career, he suggested that maybe I should do the same, but make my work a gift to Shiva, or whoever I resonated with. 

I realize that this can apply to everything I do. It might be a good first step in actively changing my perspective of "work." If I can think of every tiring thing I do as a gift to someone, I'll feel much more inclined to put my heart into it and really enjoy it. So I think I'm going to start doing that... for art, for readings, for writing, homework, and so on. I'm sure it'll really help.

Things are changing again. Starting fresh. Perhaps I'm about to start walking in another circle.  

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