To be honest, it was a pretty good last day, despite having to talk about my project in front of the class. It wouldn't have been so bad if I didn't feel so foreign; it's kind of awkward being an illustration student in a room full of sequential students who are all really good with the whole sequential art thing.
But I'm done with storyboarding. I learned a lot from that class; however, I realized I'm not much of a sequential person, and I don't love storyboarding enough to change that. At least I have the skills for my own work, now.
I recalled a bit of my dream this morning. I was with my best friend... I think we were in Wal-Mart or Hobby Lobby or someplace similar. I was looking for a calendar. And on my way out, I grabbed one with artwork from Susan Boulet, which was weird because my current calendar is one featuring her art.
Speaking of dreams, I've had a tough time sleeping lately. I toss and turn so much... it takes me a while to fall asleep, and then sometimes I get cold in the middle of the night (leaving my body vacant, I guess... lol), and other times, I'll hear stuff, like this morning - the wind and leaves hitting my window. It's been like this for a few weeks... maybe longer. I don't keep track because I'm so used to it. But I'm not that tired, surprisingly. Before the fall equinox, I was waking up anywhere from 8 to 8:30, but now, I wake up earlier... anywhere from 6 to 8. Lately it's been 7:30 ish, because by that time, morning light is coming through my window, and my body's like, "Hey. Hey. Sun's up, woman. Let's go."
It's not a big deal because I'm not tired; the only reason it's been frustrating is because I get concerned over not getting enough sleep during school. I want to be at my best, and I don't want to fall ill. I clearly have enough energy, so I guess I shouldn't worry about it? Especially now that school is basically done.
I kind of had a semi-emotional moment last night because my dad showed me Taurus in the sky while he was putting out the recycling and shining right next to it was Venus. I felt like, in that moment, the Lucifer/Eosphorus energy was right there... and it's funny, because I always loved seeing Venus in the sky, just like I always felt drawn to Lucifer. I would've stayed out there longer, but my mom would've thrown a fit because it was cold and she doesn't like me out in the cold with no layers. Haha.
In other news, I finished season 1 of Once Upon a Time this morning. Kind of epic. I can't shake the feeling, though, that there's something I'm supposed to be "getting" - or learning - from this. I think when I begin to watch season 2 on hulu, I'll have to pay close attention to what this show's presence is supposed to mean right now.
OH. Which reminds me - thanks to all the new philosophical ideas that have been coming to me, I think I now know how to proceed with Crucible. Some details need to be worked out, but it's like everything around me is telling me how I should be proceeding. I remember back when I was feeling low a few months ago, I was despairing about Crucible's plot, amongst other things, and I was lying on my bed when a thought dropped into my head:
"Write it like it's your story."
They do say write about what you know. So I brought out one of my world-building notebooks and began jotting down these new ideas. Now I'm just hoping I'll go somewhere with them. I do admit it causes doubt... whenever this happens, I wonder if I'm even meant to become a fiction author. I have so many stories I want to tell, despite freaking out over the idea that they may possibly have already been written. I think that may be why I keep hitting walls... or one of the reasons, anyway. I'm always thinking: "Has this been done? Is this original enough? Is this too predictable? Will I get sued for writing about something similar?"
I mean, I do believe that we should be able to write without restraint, but unfortunately, as someone who intends on publishing, I have to take these things into consideration. I can change my attitude, and insist that I'll be successful; however, I still need to ensure that my writing is the best it can be without scooting over into other people's creative territory.
And speaking of writing, once again, I wonder if perhaps VotS is not a good idea for a book. But here's my reasoning: the content changes. Well, the perspective changes. Is that a good thing? I don't know. I don't think so, because it tends to cause confusion. For example... if I start out with the message of having free will, and then later bring in the message saying that everything is pre-planned, that'll probably lead to literary - not to mention philosophical - confusion. I think if I want to write a book like that, I need solid, unwavering ideas. It's clear that I want to write something along these lines, but perhaps I need to go in a different direction with something new, fresh, and solid. Or, I need to pick a topic and stick with it. Having so many "messages" like that isn't a good format.
So... yes. VotS will stay a blog. Except it'll be renamed to "Voices of Adonai" because I'll be switching it over to my account.
The last little tidbit: I'm excited to experiment with spirit art again! I just need to remember not to take on too many requests at a time... especially since I'll have other things I'll want to do. But before I can do that, I need to whittle down my card reading list. Right now, I have 14 people waiting for readings.
I might do one or two of those now, since I'm waiting for a reply from my math professor... I have a test I want to retake but I want to get her acknowledgement before retaking it.
I'm so pumped, yo.
Evaah
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