My dream was loosely based on inspiration for Crucible, which I always welcome. I don't remember much of it, though. I was also going to meditate last night but ended up just listening to a dyaan for Shiva instead. I had a lot on my mind.
And speaking of that, I wanted to mention something first before I elaborate on the main topic... I realized recently that I'm still not 100% the person I'd like to be. I know change doesn't happen overnight, but in recent times, I've been experiencing a sort of "test" and for the life of me, I can't figure out what it's supposed to mean. It's happened before - a few times in fact - and I can only assume that it keeps coming back because I'm not making progress in the way that I should. They do say everything in your life is an echo. And this "test"... well. It's not bad, but it's frustrating, and I'm trying to figure out why this is. I think I have a general idea; however, I'm not sure the best way to approach it so that it stops happening - or, at least, I stop reacting negatively to it.
I think I just need to sit down and journal about it to examine the cause. But not here.
I want to elaborate on the whole "experience" perspective because I was thinking about it throughout the day yesterday, and things were beginning to make sense. I do have a few inquiries, though, so maybe Adonai will pop in with some answers like it usually does.
Let's assume that what I observed before is really true. We have no life purpose, or any overall plan that drives us to "do good" for the planet. What is this "calling" that many of us feel, then? I get the impression that this is the universe expressing its intent. Or maybe just expressing itself through this particular human skin? I mean, if you look around, there are billions upon trillions of instances where the universe is expressing itself on this planet alone. If it's all just a matter of experience and expression, then do we even need intent? Although, to be technical, the universe's existence itself is already intent. But I mean... nature just is. Nature experiences itself, and nature is the universe, too. Why wouldn't the same apply for us? Just because we're the wise and "complex" beings that we are doesn't mean we're separate from nature. I doubt we - as the universe - would make such an exception.
Nature doesn't have a "calling." Nature doesn't worry about the future or the past. It isn't fearful and accepts change with open arms. Perhaps this "calling" that many of us feel is the piece of Adonai within us yearning to express itself on its pure path - the one aligned with our true nature. We wouldn't feel a calling if we were already on the right path. And callings... they're not all about "doing good for the planet." They're about finding the path that truly resonates and speaks with us - that best reflects the instance of Adonai that we are.
I'll use myself as example... as an artist and writer, I want to create. I want to empower people through these methods, because I want us to remember who we are. But most of all, I want to be able to live simply, freely, able to create without having to worry about judgment, or bills, or sustaining myself. Wanting to create is something all of us want to do, because we are Creator. What about the wanting to empower people, though? Where does that come from? A yearning for change... There are millions of people who are trying to change the world. Is this yearning for change a physical manifestation of the universe trying to achieve balance?
Adonai, by nature, is a balanced force. And I already mentioned before that the universe's goal is to preserve this balance. Does this count for all physical worlds, too? Do we separate planets from the rest of the universe? Or, are they like our understanding of oneness: distinct, but ultimately from the same source? In which case, the answer would be: YES, Adonai cares about the balance of Earth.
So now I still wonder: do we have any sort of pre-programming? If the universe is expressing and experiencing itself, does it want pre-programming? Or does it want to be as spontaneous as possible? And if it's as spontaneous as possible, how would that ultimately affect our lives?
I'm just trying to put this in perspective, here. I'm definitely getting into some immense stuff, because I'm having a bit of trouble wrapping my head around this (I'm probably on the right track then, lol). I can understand if we don't have purpose or "life plans." Okay, I get that. But does that mean we're not supposed to try to be something? That quote I found yesterday said: "Don't try to be anything at all."
Indeed, not being anything would be the ultimate experience of - well - experiencing. Because if we're trying to be someone/something, then we're deliberately carving out a specific path for ourselves, and hand-picking related experiences along with it. That means we're only experiencing a specific perimeter of experiences.
Here's the thing, though: do we have the capability of not being anyone in this current society? What happens when we learn to just enjoy the current moment... to enjoy existing and enjoy the experiences in the now, not the future? I'm assuming that if we were to take on this perspective, then things we've been taught to fear, such as poverty, theft, injuries, etc., would be seen as blessings - and/or good experiences.
But aren't we entitled to abundance? Ah. Think about that, though. For a second, you were implying financial abundance. Of course people want financial abundance - it's what we need to be able to sustain ourselves in such a society. When you think about it, we technically already have everything we could ever want in our purest form. Maybe the point of expressing/experiencing ourselves in the physical is to experience the exact opposite: not having everything. I mean, there's also other limiting experiences such as - oh, you know - not perceiving the whole universal existence. We experience love and negative feelings such as hatred, anger, depression, and so on...
Yeah. It's a bit scary. It's scary because I've been programmed to think that I need financial abundance to be able to sustain myself in this world. And even though I may not need a whole lot, it's still something I'm focusing on for the future - something I'm trying to manifest because I want to ensure I'm comfortable while doing the things I love.
Back in the day, we didn't think about the future. We thought only of the present and how we would survive. Each day was spent doing things that would ensure our survival... and when the next day came, we would just do the same thing. That very same concept has been reflected to us in nature for thousands of years up to this present day, reminding us of our need to live simply, to focus on each day as it comes and enjoy it to its fullest.
It's a really profound concept. It'll definitely take a while to digest, but hey - the same thing happened at the beginning of September. It's just amusing to me because I think back to all the things I used to run my life around: past lives, spirit guides, life purpose, soul lessons... and I realize now: none of that is necessary. Technically speaking, I mean. Of course, it was necessary to bring me to this current moment, but from the bigger picture, it's kind of sad that we "spiritual" folks get caught up in all this "self-work." Think about all the people at SF and beyond who get tangled up in past lives! Even if they are "your" past lives (I still don't think they are though), there's a reason why they're called past lives. And yet we believe that we have to learn something from such lives so that we don't "make the same mistakes."
Why NOT make the same mistakes? It only adds to your experiences. And from what I can see, experience is more valuable than knowledge.
Anywho. I'll let this stew for several days. This is another huge shift in my perspective and I can't hope to have it all make sense in only a couple days.
Evaah
No comments:
Post a Comment