Zenoheria, Part 3

"Leak" - by kajoi @ deviantART

A continuation to my previous Zenoheria posts. 

So at the beginning of September, I had finally begun to accept that Shiva was Spike. It took a lot of confirmation, and a few conversations with someone who is actually in a similar arrangement (though not with Shiva), but in the end, I decided it was true. Naturally, I was quite ecstatic. I began reading about Shiva, and his connection to Sati, Parvati, and Kali. I focused less on Eron and more on the nature of life and the universe. 

However, my ego was once again hurt by Lulu. How? Because at this time, Lulu had brought up feeling connected to various Egyptian goddesses. That was like a slap in the face for my ego, because here I was with Shiva, investigating Hinduism a bit, and there goes Lulu, finding little connections to Egyptian deities, as if following my trail. My ego thought: "Jesus! Can't you have anything of your own? Why are you doing this to me?"

We had another talk. I told her about how my ego was feeling, and she told me a bit about her own personal issues. We worked through ideas of separation and unity. But despite talking about it, my ego was still in the background, because I was clinging to my "old" beliefs regarding Eron, Zenoheria, and my guides, and Lulu was "moving on." Ego hated this. Why? Because it didn't like the idea of Lulu - the person I resonate with most - moving "beyond" me. Of course, I now look back and realize there is no "higher" or "beyond," but at the time, I was in the middle of changing vibration, so all ego saw was "Lulu thinks she's better than me. And what's more? She's mirroring my own experiences and building on my beliefs for some sense of superiority!" 

So she went on, mourning the loss of her "team," while I was all over the place, trying to figure out what I now resonated with. I had been "speaking" with Adonai, attempting to find answers. I stewed on it all for a few days, and wrote out a lot of my thoughts, with Adonai communicating in the background. In some ways, I was basically writing the foundation for my current perspective. I processed a lot of the experiences I went through and basically reworked a new understanding of life and spirit, eventually arriving at my conclusion: oneness.

And that basically brings us to the present. 
So what was the point of the Zenoheria story? Probably to serve as a catalyst. I mean, aside from learning about a possible (unknown) planet in our solar system (we're pretty sure that's where it is...), that story didn't do much other than stir up a lot of drama and personal problems between Lulu and I. I still don't know if Nazathia actually exists, but I have to remind myself that it's not my truth; therefore, I have no right to judge another's perspective. 

Then again, without Zenoheria's story, I wouldn't be at this current perspective. I wouldn't have doubted the existence of my team when I did. I wouldn't have lost resonance with the idea of "personal" past lives. I wouldn't have been drawn so closely to our unity as Adonai. But in a number of ways, Zenoheria's life is a metaphor of my own (though it's in the past now). And that's one of the things Adonai mentioned about past lives in general - that we adopt some of those stories as metaphors to better help us understand our own lives. Of course, that only applies to the people who believe that.. and most of them don't, because they love to have that identity. They love to think that they were "other people" before their current life. It gives them a sense of timelessness and purpose. 

So with all that in mind, I can't help but wonder if I should "expect" any other lives to pop up for me, now that I have this perspective. But I do know that Zenoheria will have a profound impact on my life for quite a while. 

 Finny x