The Light Bringer

"The Angel" - by heise @ deviantART

Well, I'm not happy, but I finally understand why Lucifer's popped up...

• Represents wisdom through self-exploration.
• Lucifer represents rejection of accepted “truths” to instead explore possibilities.  
• Symbolizes rebellion with a purpose; knowledge, wisdom, and power.
• Represents balance spiritually and physically, that Light and Darkness are equally important to the mental and physical health of individual. 
• Represents self-deification with earned compassion and the value of loved ones.  
• Lucifer in essence is in us all, Lucifer (Latin: light bringer) is the fire, the power of spirit, and the knowledge of self one can tap into through learning and embracing self honesty. Once this is accomplished, your aura will light up, making you feel bliss and joy. 
• Lucifer is the spirit of motivation and self empowerment, it is the very definition of human perfection, the true philosophical ideal. The illuminated mind.  
• Lucifer is the bravery you require to stand alone or outnumbered, the character you need to persevere in society, and the bliss you are entitled to feel on this earth. 
• Lucifer is the unalienable right to think different, and propose new fresh ideas to challenge the old ones, thus bringing betterment to man, bringing thus closer to godhood.  
• Lucifer is the seed of inspiration that leads to great works of art, classical and contemporary. 
• Lucifer is the being that inspires men to say "no" when everyone says "yes", and "yes" when everyone says "no".  
• Lucifer represents respect for the nature of the animal, and nature of the divine being. 
• Lucifer symbolizes the beauty of uniting the masculine and feminine energies in oneself.  
• Lucifer represents self sacrifice for one's ideas. 

I may not be huge on angels, but I have to admit that Lucifer was always the one I was most drawn to... probably for all the things listed. And by Adonai - his presence in my life right now is freaking perfect timing. I could really use his guidance, because I feel shattered and powerless. I'm brimming with doubt. Everything I've been working toward has fallen to pieces, and now I wonder if I even have anything to contribute anymore. Of course my stubborn nature wants to prove my parents wrong. I want to rebel against their stiff advice to prove that we CAN live by following our dreams. 

But I don't have the energy anymore. I don't want to sit through this battle of realism versus idealism. When I look at my skills, I realize that I'm not as fabulous as numerous others are, and it fills me with doubt. I want to write, but I never finish anything because I'm afraid it's unoriginal. My drawing skills are average. And even though I've had many successes with spirit art, I can't guarantee that I'll have what people are looking for. Hell, I can't even give much detail (except for aura-related stuff). 

At least I have my favorite sushi rolls to make the day a little brighter. 

Come on, Lucy. I need your help. 

*Edit - I log on to dA and what's in my inbox? A piece titled "The Fall of Lucifer."
Thanks, Lucy. 

*Edit 2 - Watching a Supernatural gag reel with views at 111,444. Hell yeah.

Finny