Moulting

"Molt" -  by escume @ deviantART

Had three more encouraging signs brought to my attention today. The first was a helpful snippet from a blog I follow on tumblr, entitled "8 Hard Truths About Being a Tarot Reader." The truths, however, applied to any reading service... people will mock you or want you to be wrong, boundaries will be tested, you'll face discrimination, but it's worth it, etc. The second and third were quotes:

"Rather than find a path, why not run aimlessly through the forest and see what's there?"

"Because in the end, you won't remember the time you spent working in the office or mowing your lawn. Climb that goddamn mountain."

I talked to my brother last night about how to approach our parents about this. Although it was awkward to tell him about what I want to do, he was open-minded and reassured me that there's really nothing to be afraid of. I realized after that conversation that I'm not so much scared of telling them I want to quit school, but rather scared of telling them what I want to do instead. It's so awkward to explain spiritual topics to non-spiritual folks. Isn't that sad? I mean, it wouldn't be as big of a deal if this was just a stranger or friend. But I'm dealing with my parents. 

I've already mentioned my mom being a fear-based Christian. And I'm sure I mentioned somewhere that my dad is a logical, rational, practical man. He jokingly calls my interests "voodoo," and although it was cute the first few times, it's starting to get old. 

How the hell am I going to explain this to them? I can just hear the conversation... I know Mom won't say that much - she'll just be concerned that I won't be successful. Dad will be, too; he's already said something along those lines a couple years back when I mentioned my goal to publish novels. It's depressing how little faith my parents have in me. I'm sure they're just being realistic, though - not wanting their kids to make mistakes, etc. But I don't see this as a mistake. I see this as living... for once. 

On another note, I've been doing a bit of research on spiritual centers in my area. There aren't that many, which is odd... I was expecting more. If there are more, they're listed under obscure names. But P&D, my favorite shop, is right next door to a center, and guess who works there? A spirit artist. Figures. However, I believe she's only temporary - at least the center says so (she's Australian). I was a bit downcast for a little while, though, because she can offer a lot more than I can - and independently, too. She's got like all four clairs, is a medical intuitive, can do auto-writing, and considers herself a visionary artist. And I can barely interpret my own work.

It's a little crushing, yes, but it does inspire me to work even harder on developing my own skills. However, I still need practice, so maybe I can charge less while I'm still in training. And if that's the case, would anyone even take me in? Everyone at P&D charges $75 and over. I mean, they have to be consistent, right? Otherwise most clients would go for the cheaper one.

So I guess that means I should work via internet first. But I don't think my parents would dig that, because they hate seeing me just "sitting around the house." That's why I'm trying to manifest working at P&D or someplace similar (HOA... maybe Trilogy, even though they're not in a safe area...). It would give me a "day job" to satisfy my parents and would also give me time to work on my own stuff.. not to mention it would be a job I'd actually enjoy.

I can't allow these little doubts to affect me. Because so long as those doubts exist, they'll hold me back.
But I still have to figure out how to explain this to my parents.

Finny x