So now I'll have a deck with some Shiva cards in it. Awww man. I am excited. Unfortunately, they won't be arriving until Monday... but I'll cross my fingers and hope for early delivery (it happens occasionally).
I was originally looking up tarot decks, because I thought: "Well, hey. If I resonate with the art of a deck well enough, I'll consider buying one and learning it." But I couldn't find any on Amazon that I really liked (and were reasonably priced). There's one called Nefertari's Tarots that is Egyptian-styled and covered in gold (I loooove gold), but it's freaking $36. For good reason, of course, because the gilded gold style makes them really pretty. Other than that one, though, there weren't really any that screamed out to me. Shadowscapes is a lovely and elegant deck, but it's not for me, either.
So I kinda took that as a sign to avoid tarot right now. I never really resonated with it - I think because they seemed too much like playing cards to me, what with the wands and pentacles and cups. Kind of stiff, rigid, and repetitive... whereas oracle allows more room for creativity with different kinds of themes. Yes, the messages are a bit more general and straightforward, but depending on the theme, you can actually intuit a lot of information from them. I like to use them in conjunction with spirit art for that reason. And it got me thinking - maybe that's the reason why I was guided to work with oracle cards before I got into spirit art. Although I don't dislike the idea, I would prefer to be able to fully interpret my art for people. Every other spirit/psychic artist I know is able to do this, so why can't I?
I've already had a few people tell me there isn't a problem with this. And... I don't necessarily see it as a problem. It's just that I need to depend on a secondary source to elaborate details to the sitter, and that frustrates me a little. I either have to rely on my interpreters or use my cards to give a more specific direction. Of course, this only applies to channeled work or spirit portraits (sometimes). Aura stuff I'm pretty good at because it's straightforward and not very symbolic.
I'm not sure if this is something that just comes with practice or what. Maybe it relates to my lack of sensitivity. And I was wondering - from my previous post - that perhaps it might not be all pineal calcification. I still do have a teensy fear of the unknown, only because I don't know what to expect. I never had those "childhood scares" that every psychic/medium and their mother experienced... you know - seeing the ghost of your grandma or a complete stranger at the foot of your bed. The only "scare" I recall was based on my ability to astral project with ease. The sensation of spiraling back down to my body freaked me out after numerous times, so I guess I subconsciously rejected the skill. But I never knew what that was.
So yeah. Not seeing things with my physical eyes has been both a blessing and curse. I want to see the richness of spirit all around me, but there's still that sliver in the back of my mind that's thinking: "What is it like? Will I see 'things'?" And by things, I mean the "stuff" that people often report, such as shadows lurking and faces staring at you as you sleep. Who knows, though? It might be different for me. Maybe I should consult the wisdom of the darker realms for help... to see things from their perspective.
On a completely unrelated note, it astounds me to see how animals can guide us. I've been working on my research journal every day and these past couple of days I've been taking notes on animal totems and symbolism... it's very intriguing. It makes me wonder if that's why we included animals on this planet - not to consume them, but to learn from them. It's so freaking cool to think about, especially when you consider that each animal has its own peculiarities that distinguish it from other species. From turtles with their protective shells to swans and their companionship... there's so much symbolism embedded in these creatures.
I was delighted to discover that my Celtic animal sign is a snake. Prefer that much more than a rooster. I freaking love snakes. I think I might like one in the future... a leucistic one would be awesome, like a ball python (I believe rat snakes are aggressive).
Aghhh. I hope that Gita deck comes early.
Finny
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