Zenoheria, Part 2

"Aurora Borealis" - by carnivora88 @ deviantART

This is a continuation of my previous "Zenoheria" post. 

So in the middle of all this stuff about Eron, I suddenly - and randomly - get this kick for Shiva. I was listening to a song that had been shared by another member at SF called "Shivoham" by Manish Vyas, and as I listened, I was struck by this wave of awe, admiration, and resonance. I started having dreams that featured him, and I had a powerful meditation experience with him in which I felt two distinct presences in my room. At the same time, Lulu was discovering even more guides to add to her team. One turned out to be Zephyr (I guess it was supposed to be the real deal?), and at that point, my ego exploded. It was sick of seeing all this stuff from Lulu... all my ego saw was someone who was trying to "top" me in experiences. I was still exploring Eron stuff to a degree, but also conversing with Pierre and working with Shiva for some answers. When Lulu mentioned having Zephyr as a mentor, though, my ego couldn't tolerate it any longer. 

So after we talked about things, more information came through. I was still receiving heavy dragon symbolism from Pierre, and even got a few tidbits regarding Spike, who was bringing up our relationship. Lulu was doing her thing, and I was aware of my ego in the background, because it noticed every single similarity between my experiences and hers. I would write about a meditation experience in a temple, and a couple days later, so would she. My ego felt like it was being messed with. I was even starting to think that Lulu was doing it on purpose.

Shiva was pushed into the background for a bit, because I was fixated on Pierre. Why? Pierre was the first spirit to give me so much attention. I had gotten more out of Pierre in one week than I had gotten out of Spike in two and a half years. So naturally, I was glued to him. 

I started poking into experiences from Zenoheria's life. In one meditation, I discovered that Zenoheria had healed Zyler/Pierre's wounds (as a dragon), which struck up a friendship between the two. A day or so later, I heard a voice while falling asleep say: "I never had the chance to tell you how much I love you." So I investigated Pierre's death, and found out that he probably died of starvation. 

Then, even more curious, I started digging around more, and discovered tidbits like:

•  Zenoheria was a "warrior" mage who served a "king/queen"
• An emphasis on black crystals
• A ring with a green gem on Zenoheria's left hand
• Zenoheria was skilled with healing magic

At this point, I was addicted. And this is where things started to get iffy, because around the time I had found out those tidbits, Lulu began nosing around on her own, digging up scraps about a separate Eron life that she resonated with... a sorceress named Nazathia. My ego was starting to get really pissed again, because it couldn't stand the thought of Lulu also having an Eron life. It kept hissing from the background: "Why does she keep mirroring me? What's her goal? She's probably making this stuff up." 

I need to pause for a moment and once again reinforce that I'm in no way picking on Lulu. We've been through this already. Twice. I've moved past this because I no longer resonate with "personal" past lives. I'm only pointing all this out because it equals information for me. It's helping to put things in perspective.

"Lord of Mountain Roads" - by anndr @ deviantART

So Lulu continued to explore her life as Nazathia, with my ego spewing thoughts like: "She's probably making it up so she can feel included." She learned for herself that Ben was with her, and we learned terms such as sephte and kulnar, which apparently tie into the dom/sub relationships of Eron. And then we found out more tidbits, such as:

• The "queen" (who I thought was Spike) was named Zumorphia
• Zenoheria's job was something similar to a ranger or guard - he patrolled territory and ensured trespassers were eliminated 
• Zenoheria was intensely skilled, and could apply invisibility to himself
• Kulnars were the submissives; sephtes were the doms...

After this, however, the doubt began to form. I think it started first with Lulu, who was beginning to doubt the existence of her team (seeing them as guises instead of actual guides/spirits). We talked through it, and then she began delving back into her Eron life as Nazathia. But then, I was receiving the doubt, too. The more I read about her experiences as this sorceress, the more I felt like something wasn't right. And I told her this. 

A few days before, I had been nudged in the direction that Spike = Shiva. So I was mainly fixated on that. I was digging up all the confirmation I could get. However, all the stuff Lulu and I had learned about Eron was being tested, so we began to step into a huge pool of doubt. We tried to work through it together, and we seemed to get through most of it okay. 

Until one day in early September, after I had accepted that Shiva was Spike.

But once again, I'll continue this in another post. 

Finny x