Releasing the Old

"Bringer of the Dawn" - by Rassouli

New Year's Eve... 

Funny. It actually feels more like a "holiday" today - perhaps because I know an old chapter is ending, and a new one is beginning. I can feel new and eager energies around me; they might be my own, or they might be those of the collective. January is supposed to be a very powerful month for manifestation - and not just for me, since I mentioned in my 2014 overlook that it looked like my wishes would be fulfilled - but for the entire planet... especially with that supermoon tomorrow. A new moon, but a supermoon... A really strong opportunity for new chapters and fresh starts. I find that very appealing right now. 

Speaking of new starts, the last draw of Solstice Light reflects on how we can release the old and welcome in the new. I drew The Circle, which calls on a few themes I've already noted before in this reading: utilizing rituals, calling on spiritual guidance/energy, creating a sacred and safe environment, and setting boundaries. I feel the interpretation about utilizing rituals resonates most strongly; I'm already quite ritualistic by nature, and I think the only way I'll truly release the old is to create a ritual to do so: writing, art, some form of meditation, etc. 

I was actually planning on a meditation tonight or tomorrow night in order to focus on what I want to manifest. I guess I'll do a "releasing" meditation tonight and a manifestation one tomorrow. 

Gosh, I love fresh starts. I haven't been this eager for a new chapter in a long while. I thought I would long to stay where I'm at right now: sitting around the house doing nothing entirely important... but I'm actually really wanting to make progress. I'm wanting to figure out what I want and go for it. And to be honest, I think a lot of this desire has reawakened since meeting Lor. He's really made me feel more confident and enthusiastic.

But I have to admit... I'm actually a little nervous. I'm at a point where I'm actually unsure of what I really want to manifest - specifically career-wise. Well, I know what I want, but the tiny rational part of my mind thinks it won't happen, because it's too specific. Essentially, I want to work at a spiritual shop or center, and do my readings on the side until I have enough experience to simply do readings (unless I'm happy with doing both for a while). That's what I want for now, anyway. Who knows what I'll want a few years from now?

I also have other things I want as part of this package, with the most important being: I want to move closer to Lor, so that we could possibly see each other in person. The other things are just about the type of town or home I'm living in... something safe, relatively modern, and not exactly in the middle of nowhere. But if I find what I really want, then these things aren't all that important. 

So I'm a little doubtful. I don't want to be doubtful; however, I know how hard it is to work at a spiritual shop or center, because the little shops don't typically hire, and the centers probably require more experience. And I'm not sure how easy it would be to try and apply for one of these shops/centers in another state. 

I honestly don't know what else I could do to earn a solid income for myself, unless I rely completely on my creative/intuitive work, or sacrifice my happiness to work elsewhere until I finally get what I want. I know that's what most people end up doing, but even if I did gather up the mental strength and patience to do that, I'm still not sure what I would even choose to do. I don't want to go anywhere near retail (other than those new age shops), but what else would there be for someone like me, who doesn't really have much experience in anything? Perhaps I need to do some research...

Until then, though, I'll still be focusing all my energy on manifesting my dream scenario. 

Happy New Year's, and good luck to everyone in 2014! Enjoy the ride.