House 9 - Artist

"Breath of Creation" - by Rassouli

House 9 - Spirituality

Kind of an odd place for Artist to land, eh? You would expect Creativity & Good Fortune or Occupation/Health or something. But this still makes sense to me. Not because I consider art to be a very spiritual act; I tend to practice a lot of "creative spirituality," and my views on the divine are often closely linked with those of art. 

It's a bit of a challenge to describe what exactly I mean here, as many of my feelings on this pairing are intuitive. I know in my gut this is "right." It's something I can feel - and even see - better than I can put into words. To me, being an artist isn't just about making beautiful or meaningful things. It's connecting to a most profound aspect of yourself - the Divine - and breathing its energy into something physical and tangible. It's a meditation - a reflection on who you truly are, and what you are truly capable of. The fact that we can draw from the pool of our imaginations and create beautiful, meaningful, or useful things says a lot about our power as Creators. All of us are artists, even if we aren't aware of it. Even if we are guided by fate or free will - or a mixture of both - we appear to have choices, and making those choices is just like choosing where to apply certain colors in a painting. Our lives are masterpieces: works of art, well-written tales, musical compositions, and so on. 

Perhaps this is why I've been so drawn to the idea of the Divine looking to tell stories or create art rather than learn lessons. Of course, you're bound to have themes in these "creative works," but as I delved deeper into the mysteries of spirit, I found myself unwilling to believe that we're here only to learn lessons... like we're children needing to be taught in preparation for... what? Enlightenment?

That's a whole other topic, though. 

In Shadow, this house tends to reflect our spiritual egos, which I know I've had problems with. But that comes from feelings of inadequacy and insecurity. I've mentioned all that loads of times, though, so I won't repeat myself. When I think of the Shadow aspect right now, I think of the recent struggles I've had with both spirituality and art. On the spiritual side of things, I've become clueless as to where to channel my energy. I feel like everything I've ever believed in regarding spirit or Adonai has crumbled away, leaving me with only a very basic set of ideas/theories. Still, I get the impression this is all for a reason. This is a "dark night of the soul," pretty much. I'm having what Myss calls a "spiritual crisis" - or, at least, I'm moving away from one. It was hitting hardest before I met my partner. I'm starting to see that sunrise, though. 

Perhaps Adonai - or the Divine - is saying to me, "Don't worry about spiritual 'truths' right now. Just worry about your current struggles. Work on uplifting yourself and experience solid, physical life for a while. After you heal, you will be well-equipped to handle the next chapter of your life." And if that's not the case, then I simply have to trust that my personal truths will find me when they're meant to. 

As for art, it's a similar but different scenario. While I'm still "clueless" about where to channel my creative energy, the main problem I have yet to overcome is my feeling regarding prostitution. I'll probably talk about this a little more in a couple days when I discuss my Prostitute archetype in House 11. In a nutshell, I'm struggling with creating art because I still haven't dropped the "this needs to be awesome so I can pay my bills" mindset. While it's a perfectly reasonable mindset, it's a tremendously limiting one - especially for someone who works intuitively, and considers creating art to be a spiritual experience. This issue is high on my "to-address" list. I'm already thinking of ways to get myself out of this mindset; a lot of it has to do with trust - trust that everything will work out in the end.

But like I said before: this is a topic for another day.