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| "Deconstruction" - by nogaspaki @ deviantART |
This alignment was a curious surprise. Part of me was hoping for something more... concrete, so that I had an idea of what I'm "meant" to be doing in life. But maybe what this is saying is that it doesn't matter. So long as what I do is enriching and fulfilling, then I don't need to commit myself to this path or that path.
Saboteur... one of the 4 survival archetypes. I've seen its energies work quite a bit in my life - especially in recent weeks, when dealing with that whole Victim scenario. One of my biggest weaknesses right now is feeling undeserving of people's affection. This is posing a huge problem in my current relationship (yes, I found someone, but more on that later... maybe). Because it's long-distance, I get myself really worked up and upset when I don't receive much attention from him. The poor lad's been overwhelmed by things going on in his life (he's in college, too, so he's finishing up finals), and because he hasn't been around much, the Saboteur in me has interpreted this as "he doesn't care / I'm not his priority," and is now working to set fire to the whole thing to try and keep me from getting hurt further. The worst part? It's only been 2 and a half weeks. I guess that's what happens when this is your first serious relationship and you're sensitive and insecure as hell.
Myss describes the sixth house's focus as being survival-oriented; the archetype residing here influences how you seek out paths of security. It will play a prominent role in how you interpret business-related conversations and opportunities. The challenge of the sixth house is to balance work and health. A specific archetype might indicate unhealthy or destructive habits that do not serve your physical well-being.
In a way, it's pretty nice - and convenient - to have Saboteur in this house. I interpret this alignment as my greater aspect saying, "Don't worry. If anything or anyone starts to screw you over in any way, the energy of Saboteur will put its foot down." The only challenge I see with this is the Shadow aspect, where Saboteur will make me feel undeserving in this area and screw with my business or health as a result. But I guess that's why I'm learning about this - to prevent that from happening.
Saboteur can be a tricky archetype to work with. I've seen its energy elsewhere - like with my relationships - but so long as I use it to help me feel secure and deserving, I'm good.
I'm glad you found someone sweetie (!) Having been in two long distance relationships myself and my first (relationship/long distance) one was with someone who was always too busy and didn't pay me much attention so I know what it's like. If you want to talk, I'm here for you, just email me... I know it can be really tough and makes you question everything all the time but you'll definitely learn a lot about yourself in the process and it will make you a stronger person. It's not impossible though, so at least give it a chance :). It's easier said than done though, I know. Just cut yourself some slack now and then, you're a wonderful person who deserves as much happiness as the next person. Really. Really, really! I really mean that, I hope you know it...
ReplyDeleteL x
Lulu! *hug*
DeleteYou are so lovely. Thank you. :)
As far as the relationship goes, we seem to be working it out for now. I told him pretty much everything that I was experiencing, and he seems very eager to help work me through it. If the day comes that I struggle again, I'll definitely have to shoot you an email, because I'm clueless when it comes to this sort of thing! Clueless, but eager to learn. ;)
Hope you're doing well. I know I haven't replied to your email yet but I did read it.
E x
I have to admit, the first thing that came to my mind with this archetype, was Shiva the Destroyer. After all, sabotage is a form of destruction, or deconstruction. And if it's a balancing act with work and health, who is to say that you can't utilize the saboteur's energy to sabotage itself when it manifests on the shadow side? Heck yeah! You deserve affection! Heck yeah! You've earned mega kudos with your work! So just start sabotaging that saboteur's negative traits to stay balanced in the positive ;)
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm so happy to hear you found someone. If I may, since you're experiencing some difficulties, I'd like to make a suggestion for you. For about a year now, I've been getting this newsletter on dating advice for women, from a man's point of view. This guy really helps to decipher a lot of the major differences between men and women. I've personally found a lot of it very helpful in understanding what's going on inside a guy's mind. He also offers programs on more specific topics, but they are a bit pricey. His free newsletters do give a good basic understanding. So you don't really HAVE to buy the programs, just keep reading the newsletters and you can get some really good "ah ha" moments.
If you're interested, just look up Christian Carter's Catch Him and Keep Him and it'll bring you to his stuff. I think the newsletter sign up is on the home page, but can't remember for sure. Since I'm already a member, I don't get to see that link any more.
What a sharp sister you are!
DeleteIt's been a while since I've consciously connected with Shiva. You gave me some nice ideas regarding his energy that I could use for this archetype.. so thanks!
Ooh. I might have to look into this Christian Carter fella. Fortunately, my partner shares a lot about the deeper aspects of himself (he told me his soul is open to me, and he seems to be sticking by that), but I may check that out since this whole dating thing is so new. Thanks!