A Breath of Fresh Air

10 AM on January 1, and it's overcast again. We're expecting rain later on this evening too... just like last year. It's like another purification - except this year, it makes more sense, because it seems like all energy is fixated on manifestation, and building something fresh and new. 

I feel good. I'm still feeling a little doubtful and anxious, though, because I'm not quite sure what I want to manifest - especially after receiving a return reading from one of my Sacred Days sitters. This is what she had to say: 

Current situation: 8 of Cups. My cards suggest that you're emotionally or physically (gut says it's more emotionally) distancing yourself from something - leaving it behind.

What you need to know: There's a vibe of restlessness in the air which, though perfectly understandable, may not be helping your cause (4 of Cups reversed, Ace of Swords reversed). The dominance of Cups in this spread indicates that it's likely to be emotional - perhaps you're a bit too set on exactly what 'the next stage' should look like, or are prone to emotionally wavering to the point where good opportunities may be missed, and only recognised in hindsight. It's time to regroup a bit and consolidate in your mind exactly what you need Vs what you want, what your top priorities are Vs all major and minor priorities. Once you have a clearly idea of what you're aiming for, you might make better headway. Think less 'Golden Opportunity' and more 'Best opportunity currently on offer at this time that is suitable for me and my current goals'.

Advice: There are two possible readings for the next two cards - 10 of Cups reversed and Devil reversed. Usually this indicates a lack of social support and unshackling yourself from constrictive points of view/behaviours, but for some reason I get the impression that the advice is to leave a particular social group (work, family, friends, hobby group...) because it's their headset that's holding you down. Devil reversed always signifies "Liberation" to me, and a much more balanced perspective. You might be scared because the outcome of taking such an action is unclear to you at this point (The Blank Card), but it still feels a lot fresher and brighter than where you are currently :)

That bit about the "Golden Opportunity" obviously caught my attention. Here I was, planning to exert my energy toward manifesting my dream scenario, even though I had no idea how I was going to get from here to there. It's really hard to say whether what I want is too ridiculous to ask for. It's not like I'm requesting everything be super-awesome, after all. I'm simply asking for a specific career, and maybe a specific location. But should I even ask for that? Is that too unreasonable?

Her cards did suggest that I'm too set on what the next stage should look like. Perhaps I need to be more adventurous and let some of the details go. But which details? 

Interestingly enough, while the three of us were out eating yesterday, my mom brought up one possible opportunity: becoming an assistant to my dad's TESOL instructor. This instructor loves my dad, and therefore loves our family (well, she hasn't met me, but I hear we're quite alike), so I think it might be quite easy for me to get a job under her if I so desired. Teaching English as a second language isn't something I want to do, though. I could probably help her with other tasks, but I definitely wouldn't want to teach (which I think her assistant does). 

It would keep me in Georgia, which I only dislike because I really want to see if I could potentially live closer to Lor. I'm not sure it'd be enough cash to fully support me, though, unless she's feeling generous and really likes me. And on the side, I would do what I enjoy...

It's a tough call. But if I don't do something like this, which I feel is a solid opportunity, then I'd be forced to dig around. And digging around is quite difficult when you don't have much to offer.

I have to remember that the best things take some effort to get to. I can't expect to just jump into the spiritual business with no certification and end up rolling in enough dough to keep me secure. And it's not like I can rely on Lor; he's still in college for a couple years and lives with his family. Besides, as much as it pains me to admit, it's still too early in our relationship. I have to slow down. I have to be patient and enjoy the ride... 

Some contemplation is in order. I need to sort out some priorities and reflect on what I honestly can and cannot do right now.