Springtime Nearing

"New Beginnings" - by C-91 @ deviantART

Still having trouble sleeping. I haven't tried actually falling asleep with music on because most nights I go to bed late, and I figure that I'll be tired enough to fall asleep quickly. Plus, I don't want to eat away my phone's battery because of school (I can't easily charge my phone there).

I suppose a lack of exercise is also contributing. I've been sitting way too much. I can't wait till it gets warmer - I'd like to go on walks.. just not alone. 

Speaking of warmer temperatures - I'm so psyched for spring. Spring and summer are my favorite seasons. I'm ready for the heat (although I can't complain much about winter; it's been quite mild here like last year) and for the flowers and greenery. I'm just not looking forward to the mosquitoes. Aghh. 

With my shell's birthday coming up on Friday, I've been looking at the Mary-el Tarot, trying to decide when to purchase it. It had gone up in price yesterday to $29, and I thought: "That's odd. Maybe I'm meant to get something else..." So I sat and said, "If I'm meant to get this deck, have it bump down to its original price." And it did - this morning. A $3 difference, but that's me. $3 can buy me an art supply. 

So I bought it. After reading the reviews, I admit I was a bit nervous. Essentially, I kept reading the same kind of comments: that the artwork was stunning and beautiful, but that the cards themselves - the laminating, etc. - were not that great, and perhaps would not withstand the test of time. I then realized, though, that I don't handle my decks that often, and not like everyone else (I don't shuffle much). It does seem a little crazy - spending almost $30 on a tarot deck - but in my opinion, it's worth it. Plus, I hear it comes in quality packaging, as opposed to the usual flimsy cardstock box. It took the author/artist 15 years to create, and it's truly my kind of deck... so I will gladly spend that $30. It's supposed to arrive on Wednesday, but often, I'll get things a day before... so we'll see. 

On the topic of spring... I'm actually really eager to clean my room. Last year, I had simply thought: "Yeah, it needs to be done" - and it got shrugged off. But now that my parents are preparing to live overseas, and the crap in my room is really piling up, I feel like it would do me a lot of good to get rid of a bunch of stuff. I tend to hoard or hold on to things either because (A) I think it's important, like a document; (B) I feel I can make some creative use out of it, like scraps of paper/illustration board; or (C) because I have an attachment to it. I keep looking around and thinking: "Do I really need this?" or "Is there a better place for this?"

Not to mention my room is really dusty. Poor Neo, my PC, is full of dust and even cobwebs (I blame my father for that, though, because he's still holding off on the air pump he said he'd get, and won't get any air cans because he thinks they're too expensive). My desk is coated with it, too. I sneeze a couple times a day. 

I'd also like to get rid of some of my art - mainly crap still life projects from foundations classes last year, but other things, as well. I've just been generally thinking: "If I can't think of it or remember it, then I don't need it." I have no space in here. My poor parents keep tripping on things when they come in (limited floor space). This just needs to happen.

This is going to be a summer project. I'd do it during spring break, but seeing how my break is only a week and a half long, I won't be enthusiastic enough. I simply hope that I'll still feel that same eagerness to clean come the end of May. If things are still proceeding with my parents, then I assume I will. 

Since I received another confirmation for the name "Andromeda," I decided to settle on it. I also made a blog for it. At first, I was going to wait, because I don't feel quite ready to show things yet, but I figured: "Hey - it'd still be a good place to document how I'm feeling as a developing artist." So I set up a Wordpress account. I would do Blogger, but because I already have three Google accounts, Google thinks I'm a spammer, and is therefore asking for my phone number to be able to create a fourth account. And I'm not giving my number to Google. So I went with hotmail and Wordpress - which actually feels more professional than Blogger anyway. 

One last thing to mention... writing. I told myself I'd take some time off from it, and I have been. Ideas still swarm in my head, but I haven't put my fingertips to keyboard. I've been reflecting on how to go about writing. It's clearly something that I'm "meant" to be associating with; I just think I've been approaching it with too much impatience and too much criticism. Writing is not like the visual arts, where you can make anatomical errors and have it be part of the composition or style. Well, I guess it is to some degree, but you get what I'm saying, right? You can't write a book not caring how well the flow is or how your transitions are working or whether your characters are developed enough. There are so many pieces to the puzzle, and frankly, every time I sit down to flesh them out, I feel intimidated.

Don't even mention the whole thing about originality. 

I often wonder how I should be writing. I have a distinct style with my fiction (I suppose), but it's not the best it can be. How do I best communicate these stories and ideas? 

Maybe I really should be reading more.