Saturday, February 2, 2013

Progression

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Quick post to note a few things; I have a project to work on today and the sooner I can make a certain amount of progress, the sooner I can relax and do what I really want. I'm still working on adjusting my attitude (not seeing it as work - I mean, come on, it's art), but I like making sure I'm in a good mental state to avoid getting stressed and ill.

Things are still on a small upward incline. But I'm in no rush. I have well learned by now that things are always as they should be. So I will enjoy this moment of "down" time, which has given me yet another experience to add onto my list. 

Big news yesterday. My dad has finally reached a point where he can say that it's very likely he and mom will be moving overseas for his teaching job in 6 months. He's saying August.

Now, we had a bit of discussion on this, and we came to the conclusion that there's no reason I couldn't live alone. They were talking about either having my cousin and her boyfriend move in or my beloved godfather - but I spoke up and told them that I would feel awkward with my cousin, and that despite how much I love my godfather, I don't think I would enjoy living with him permanently. 

So the big goal now is for my parents to "train" me on how to handle certain responsibilities on my own, and for them to make a list of A.) everything I would have to take care of by myself, and B.) everything they need to get done in the next six months.

Out of curiosity, I looked up those 3 annual readings I compiled and noted what the results were for August/September. August will seem to revolve around making choices, following heart's desires, evolving, growing, having adventures, and achievements. September, on the other hand, promises emotional loss, searching for something significant to self, and stress. 

I suppose that makes sense.

In other news, my desires when it comes to art and writing are shifting a bit. I'll probably sit down and write another post for myself in more detail, but in a nutshell, I'm wondering if writing is supposed to be more of a "long-term" project for myself, rather then something that earns me my biggest income. I say this because I never seem to be able to work consistently on my projects without coming to a wall or rethinking the plot, etc. I don't know if this is just because I'm not working in the way that I need to be, or if it's something I should be working on gradually in the background. I keep reminding myself that things don't have to be done ASAP. Society has groomed me into thinking this way. In fact, while watching Heroes yesterday, a relevant piece of dialogue came to my attention:

There's nothing wrong with being a seventeen-year-old girl for a while.

Of course, replace seventeen with almost twenty... but it's the context that applies. The whole basis of that quote is taking on something much bigger than yourself without even figuring out who you are first. I've been faced with that idea a few times recently - first, from Lulu, then, in a couple of other places. It really is true. We're all conditioned to think we need to perform some great act or deed or change the world in some significant way... I suppose that's the reason people often say: "Change must first come from within."

The only problem is, I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be changing. I guess I should first start by practicing what I preach. Maybe then a path will form before me.

But I'll talk about this more later. Right now, I have a spring-themed project to work on.

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