Call of the Earth

by yellowboots @ deviantART.com

I had a lovely experience this morning, even if it was brief. 

I woke at 8:30, opened my eyes, and found my entire room sheathed in beautiful, golden sunlight. I hadn't seen such pretty light in my room... at least not for a long time. It was almost as though Adonai was there, which is fitting seeing how I had a mini medi-session with/as it last night.

It wasn't anything significant. It was midnight, but I wanted something that would relieve my stress, help me reconnect, and assist me with sleeping better. So I sat/lay down listening to "We Dissolve in Stars," as well as TSFH's "Breathe," and just let go... allowing myself to expand. Adonai took a form briefly alongside me, but I focused mainly on my feelings as Adonai to remind myself that I'm not separate.

It was empowering. I'm going to keep doing this nightly, because the experience gave me the juice to keep on going, excelling at whatever I do. 

This kind of relates to my main topic, though, which I've mentioned briefly before: I'm feeling a sort of "call" from the earth. I have this intense connection to nature - a need to be out in it, to listen to it, to learn what it has to offer... it pulls me in more and more with each passing day, and it makes me a little sad, because it reminds me that I'm not in a situation to live my ideal life: to have a simple home out in the woods or grassy fields, eating what I grow, creating art that makes me happy (and which doesn't apply to others' standards). I'm not sure what this calling means, but I do know that it's influencing my art. It's the theme I want to work with as an artist. 

I'd like to spend more time outside when it gets warmer. The only problem is, this isn't the best area to do so. I was thinking I could paint outside on my back driveway or just sit in the sunshine. I just hope my nosy neighbor won't be out when I am (and she often is), because then my connection will be disturbed as I try to talk to a woman I can barely understand. 

I still haven't found my style yet, though. I'm sure it'll come at the right time. Before, I would've said: "It'd be nice to start establishing a presence in the art world," but now, I've decided that this is false. I will do what I want when I want, even if it takes several more years to find my niche. There is no rush. I will live simply. I will enjoy what I do. 

Art school does that to you - it stifles your creativity. It makes you dislike art. And I know I'm not the only one who thinks this, because a student in my class said the exact same thing yesterday. But I suppose it depends on you as an artist. It might have to do with how one connects with their art. As someone who produces things that are from the heart and soul, I find that I can't connect with a lot of "assigned" projects - like making a movie poster, for example. Pah.

I'm down to three weeks left of school, I believe. After Monday, I'll be working on my final two studio projects. One has to do with sewing (oh lord), and the other has to do with illustrating a folk tale. Materials/Techniques is kicking my butt... and I'm taking M/T 2 next quarter. That ought to be... fun.

Hm. I had a lot more to elaborate on, but I think I'll stop here. My brother's getting off early today, so I need to get a bit of homework done now so that we can spend the rest of the day on GW2 together. I've got two studio projects to finish up, a book report to write, and a 5-6 page research paper on Max Ernst to write. But once again, I remind myself that I excel at everything I do, and that I embrace all experiences. 

I don't think I've linked it before... so here's TSFH's "Breathe." A must-listen (then again, every tune I post is a must-listen).