It's nice to know that I won't ever be bored, but it's gotten to the point where my mind has become increasingly cluttered. As I reach the end of the month, I anticipate "the talk" with my parents - where I'll finally tell them what it is I do and how I want to turn it into a living. I know for a fact that after this quarter ends, my dad will want to start talking about working, etc., and whether I've been thinking about jobs.
Speaking of clutter, though, I'm really looking forward to cleaning my room. I think that might help with the mental clutter, as well. Thanks to school, my room has become a near danger zone. My parents stub their toes in here all the time. I have no place to put my supplies or completed projects. Mom says that if I'm getting rid of artwork, I should sell it, but that just seems more of a hassle... especially since they're bigger works. I doubt many would even want to buy them.
Hm.
But also on the topic of mental clutter: I've started my medi sessions again. I do them nightly, and then do them in the morning on my days off, like this morning. Unlike past attempts, where I would just zone out or imagine myself somewhere else, I invite one of the boys in and then listen to a natural sound that corresponds to their element: streams/oceans for Spike, campfires for Pierre, birds and forest sounds for El'azar, and wind chimes/thunder for Leon. I then focus on the sound of that element.
It's been a challenge, what with all that crap on my mind. I was sitting there this morning listening to a trickling stream, and began thinking about GW, writing, and the peeps on SF I've been talking to. But it's all about the intention. So long as I keep bringing myself back to focus, I'll eventually get better. I just have to keep this up. No excuses. Unfortunately, nighttime meditation takes away from my reading time. I used to read a chapter of something before bed - not only to help me fall asleep, but to help me with my writing. Now, I'm going to have to find some other time to read.
That's okay, though, because even a few minutes of reading a day will do.
And speaking of reading/writing, my inspiration has been flowing. I missed this so much. I completed an entire outline in a few days, and have proceeded to begin a first draft. I haven't worked out a lot of world-related stuff, but that's okay - I just want to see how a first draft comes out. Then, I can work on the world-building a bit more.
Swoon.
My cards have been calling me. I have them in a nice sturdy box now, and they sit a foot away from me... I want to read with them, but I need to finish my previous reading list before I can do that. Fortunately, I haven't been inclined to buy any new decks.
I have to admit I'm a little intimidated by that reading list because I still have about 15 people to read for, and I'm still not getting the details that I want. I was wondering if I should just have a list of questions that correspond to the nature of the reading, because it seems like just sitting and waiting for specific details to come to me isn't working all that well. Maybe it'd be better if I asked a specific question and then see what comes up.
Gah, I don't know. What I do know is that I have a handful of people who are willing to help me develop my skills by confirming accuracy or inaccuracy. I specifically asked for people who were aware of such things as guide energies, past lives, source self aspects, and so on... and got about 7-8 interested folks. I have yet to sit down with any of them, though, because I've been occupied.
Damn it, I can do this. I've got the shapeshifter energy behind me. It's in my energetic blood to be able to do this. I am not less than - I have this capability within me.
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