Born Free

"Born Free" - by Rassouli

Today was a pretty good last day. I ended up with an A in Computer Art, which I wasn't expecting. Critique in Illustration was pleasant and my portrait of my classmate was well-received. And last... I got an 85 on my Italian Renaissance exam, which didn't put me at an A in the class. But I told myself I would receive one A this quarter, and I got it. So I'm satisfied.

Like always, it never feels like it's over. I don't think it'll feel over until a few weeks from now, when all the loose ends are tied and I'm knee-deep in all the things I've been saving for my time off. I'd like to give myself a few days to recover, but I don't think I need it. I'd like to stay active because I'm not in a creative slump right now... I need to take advantage of this flowing creativity while I still have it. And then when the silence comes, I'll rest. And play Guild Wars. Hah.

I wasn't entirely happy to come home early and have my mom tell me she's disappointed in me, but you know what? I can't let her drag me down. I find it ironic that my dad's more open to my wanting to explore a different path. I figured my mom of all people would embrace my wanting to be adventurous, my wanting to do what makes me happy. But I guess not. Perhaps in time she'll come to understand. Until then, I need to ensure she doesn't affect my momentum. 

I wanted to make a general list of things I'd like to accomplish over the next few months. I did this last summer and found that I didn't stick to such a list, but I'm feeling better about one this year because I feel more passionate.

• I need to clean my room. Big time. In fact, I've been looking forward to this, because it's gotten to the point where I have to dig for certain things. Also, I feel like this would be a good symbolic act of "purification," of starting a new path. 
• The children's book(s) with L. I'm going to have to see if L really wants my work for his book, but if this does come through, I'd like to put my heart into it.
• Book cover(s) for R. Same as above. 
• Working on my reading skills. I'll be doing this consistently for a while, but it's nice to write it down to remind myself that I'm getting better and will gain that specificity skill with more practice.
• Experimenting with art readings. I don't want to get too experimental just for the sake of being "unique," but I do want to find a good niche and see if I can keep up with "fresh" readings - things you wouldn't normally see.
• Experimenting with art in general. After taking two Materials and Techniques classes for illustration, I feel much more inclined to experiment. I'm at that odd place where I have a style, but it requires much more improvement. That only comes with lots and lots of drawing... so I bought myself a couple of new sketchbooks today, and I intend to fill them.
• Meditation. I've been slacking these past few days since I've been finishing up school, but I need to really focus on this. I realize that my best results come while I'm in a state of deep meditation, so the more I practice getting into this state, the better results I'll have for readings, and even self-discovery.
• Writing. I need to be strict and finish a freaking story. Then, I need to figure out whether I want to publish through an agent, or just try to publish on my own. Since I won't be in school for a while, I don't see the problem with staying up late and working my little arse off. 
• Meeting new people / networking. I need to start getting out and finding those groups/meetups related to my interests. It'll be a solid way for people to get to know me and what it is I do. Internet may be useful, but nothing beats a face-to-face connection.

I'm sure there are a few things I haven't thought of, but that's most of it in a nutshell. It'd be best to start getting my name out there as soon as possible, because I'm sure this upcoming year will freaking fly by, and I need my feelings to be resolute by the time next year comes. I don't want to be sitting there next spring stuck because I don't know whether I should go back to school or drop out entirely. The sooner I know this is "my path," the better.

Should I expect things to end up this way? Probably not. That'll most likely be my future "big obstacle..." A much bigger decision than simply taking a year off.

So there you have it. Time to open a new door. I do admit I'm feeling a little nervous; I was used to the comfort and familiarity of attending school on a regular basis. But that's all part of the adventure... which is my keyword for 2013.

Bring it on!