Spectrum

"Light Dance" - by Rassouli

One week down, nine more to go.

I'm still in the process of changing my perspective on things, though - learning to enjoy the adventure, being open to new ideas and activities, that sort of thing. I did make a good first step yesterday: I began to appreciate the way I draw.

Like in most studio classes, I have to keep a sketchbook for illustration. The great thing about higher-leveled studio courses, however, is that we are generally able to draw whatever we want. Sometimes the professor will want us to emphasize a certain medium or technique, but more often than not, they will simply say: experiment and take risks. Have fun. 

So I went and bought a fresh sketchbook in the building yesterday. I was going to reuse an old one, but I needed one that could handle wet media pretty well, so I got a mixed media book. And as I started drawing on that first page, I thought: I actually really like the way I draw.

What helped was to look back at my little sketchbook from fall quarter and see all the cool sketches I did. It wasn't that long ago, but it was still lovely to see the stuff that I drew - stuff that I enjoyed drawing. I think it might help even more to look back on more stuff I did in the past, because to be honest, there's a lot of material I produced that I enjoyed.

In the spiritual department... well. First, my dreams have been varied. Some nights, I'll dream about GW (like this morning - fighting in the Dragonbrand amongst Grawl?), and other nights, I'll dream about other things, like being late to school (I had that one on Wednesday). 

Second, I'm finding myself connecting to guiding energies again. Imagery for Leon and Pierre have been popping up - big cats and dragons. At first, I didn't notice... but one day, I felt inclined to start paying attention, and I realized these symbols surrounded me. 

It doesn't sound so ludicrous anymore, now that I've been "reignited," so to speak (I actually haven't heard from J in almost a week.. hm). It seems logical to me that Adonai's other perspectives (i.e. pieces of consciousness, "souls," etc.) wouldn't simply withdraw back to the source, or even refrain from exploring the non-physical after incarnating. In other words, I think it makes sense that some perspectives would continue exploring after "death," even if that means pairing up with other perspectives to do so. If Adonai is trying to know itself, or actualize its existence, then I would expect that it would put its perspectives through as many experiences as possible to explore the entire "spectrum." 

For that reason, "soul families" don't sound so nuts anymore, either. I think the physical association with the concept of a soul family turned me off (i.e. people made it sound like it was a literal family you "return to" - like an actual grouping paired off in the universe somewhere), but now I see that soul families are essentially groups with similar vibrations, intentions, or perspectives, and do not necessarily have to "hang around" together all the time. I won't pretend to understand how dimensions work, so what we think we know about how soul families interact is probably just the tip of the iceberg. Actually, this can describe our understanding about spirit in general. We like to project our human associations onto the universe, when, in fact, it's probably something much different - much more abstract. 

While it is a bit of a challenge to commune with these guiding energies while attending school, I still try my best to talk to them and envision them near me. I don't receive much in return (then again, my attention is always fixated on other things, and I haven't been "in tune" since early December), but it's a start. 

One last snippet: I decided to "skip" Holi this year, because Holi is basically the Hindu celebration of spring, and I've already done my thing for spring. There's really nothing in April to anticipate; I think the next big celebration/holiday/etc. is Beltane.

A day of relaxation awaits.