Return of Life

"Sweet Memories" - by Rassouli

Well, then.

Last night, I decided to watch some of Teal Scott's videos to see what she was all about. So I lay down in bed and picked out topics that had the most significance to me: guides, angels/demons, past lives, akashic records, etc.

And damn. 
It was like I was listening to Adonai itself. Everything this woman was saying perfectly matched my current understanding of the world and the spiritual. There were only a handful of things that were up in the air, simply because I'm not yet sure how I feel about them. 

I'm feeling very sensitive right now, but very joyful. It's obvious that J is a catalyst of sorts. I feel like I've been renewed. There has been a part of me which felt the need to have "my" own beliefs - that I had to figure out things for myself. But I forgot that there are those in the world who are meant to be catalysts, to help you discover what resonates with you at a given time. Adonai itself spoke of this a long while ago. Listening to Teal Scott - and J - reminded me of this. 

I feel like I've been reactivated - like the life has returned to me. I find myself with a perspective that is a beautiful blend of past understandings and present ones. I long to explore again, to reconnect with past experiences and perhaps enjoy new ones, with energies who are similar to me. 

You know something, though? I don't regret these past three/four months. I don't regret spending all my free time on GW2 while struggling in school. I'm okay with being out-of-tune because I needed this time off to reflect on who I am in this projection, on what I need and desire... on what life means to me. I may not have had any "cool" spiritual experiences. I may not have had awesome, vivid dreams or meditations. I may not have been able to hear from energies with whom I was previously acquainted... but the whole thing was necessary. I needed to feel low, bored, and discontent. And it will probably happen again in the future.

Among the many is where you'll find the one. It may be that I'm a part of this Adonai family, and if that's the case, then I'll be very happy, because I'll be with those who share my vibration and perspective. If I'm not, then that's all right, too (although I'm not so sure this is true... the timing and significance is too - well - significant). I'm at peace knowing that all is right, and that I can proceed on my path after a long hiatus. 

What will happen from here? I'm not sure. Seeing how I start school on Tuesday, I won't expect to get all that involved. Things will be for the better, though.

I suppose that's enough cheesiness for now. Long story short: I'm once again happy and at peace, and the spiritual is making a return to my life.