At Sunrise

"At Sunrise" - by Rassouli

Today went a lot better than I had anticipated. 

It still sucked having to wake up at 6, though. I don't mind waking up early, so long as I'm waking up naturally, and not to a startling alarm (however pleasing the tune may be). I found that my body resorted to the behavior associated with knowing an alarm is involved: I would wake every 1-3 hours to check the clock so I could wake up before the alarm (plus I'm paranoid about oversleeping or my alarm not working). And guess what? I woke up a minute before my alarm went off. Typical.

I think I'll feel better once it starts getting brighter earlier. At the moment, the sun rises at around 7:10, when I'm en route to school. Daylight always makes me feel better.

As for the actual classes... I think this quarter will be tolerable. To be honest, I'm somewhat optimistic. I'll blab more about the classes in my actual art blog... but if I took away anything today, it was something my illustration professor touched on while he was discussing the syllabus: style.

I'm certain I mentioned before how much I dislike my style. It's recognizable, sure, but it's not how I want to draw. I've been spending so much time trying to draw differently, trying to draw realism, trying to study from admired artists, and nothing seems to change. Is it because I don't draw enough? Probably. Despite that, though, my professor's comments on style brought light to my perspective. Why? Because he said:

Don't fret over style. It's not something you search for. You already have a style - it'll simply evolve over time, after a lot of drawing. You know those doodles you make in class or when you're on the phone? That's your style. 

I had been receiving inklings of this perspective in the back of my mind for about a week, but it really sunk in when I heard my professor say it. Now, I had this professor in fall for my first illustration class, and even though he was friendly, he was a bit intimidating because he's the head of the illustration department, and therefore the real "professional." He seems different now - maybe it's because we're in a higher level course, where he feels as though he can expect good things from us. Whatever the case, he did make me feel a lot better about myself. Someone popped the idea of embracing my style in my head a few days ago, so now that I hear my professor address the topic, it's almost like confirmation. 

I keep wanting to draw like other artists, when I have my own unique style that I can perfect with more practice. I need to give myself time to explore and experiment and make the most out of what I can do. 

But like I said: I'm just going to elaborate in my art blog.

So all in all, a decent first day of spring quarter. 

A few final tidbits: dad flies out to China tomorrow. Poor dude is so stressed out, because apparently he has homework due the day he returns from his trip, and he doesn't know when he'll have the time to finish it. Just reminds me who I don't want to become... 

Also, our weather is a bit... off. It was flurrying most of the day. Cold. I don't think it's flurried this late in the month in forever. Can't wait for this warmer weather... it'll make me feel much better about everything going on right now.