Weighted

"Night" - by haimeart @ deviantART

I have to admit, today wasn't a very happy last day of break. No matter how hard I try, I can't bring myself to be excited for school tomorrow. Easier said than done. I probably wouldn't mind so much if I didn't have to wake up at 6 and drive in rush hour traffic both to and from school. I haven't had to wake up at 6 for... a year?

On top of that, I spent a good majority of the day waiting for the wrecker to come pick up Harvey. The dude(s) never showed, but it still had me feeling anxious and somewhat sad, because I really feel like our cars are part of our family, and losing a family member - even if you weren't all that close - is painful. So now he's still out on the street, unlocked, waiting for his eternal rest. It might sound silly, but it's true. I know I'm going to be in tears - or really close to tears - when it comes time to sell Haloa. I grew up with Haloa (Harvey was inherited after my grandmother passed away). She traversed the Pacific Ocean with us, got us from Las Vegas to Georgia, has been on many family trips, been out in the ice and snow... 15 years and still going strong. I just hope her end won't be like Harvey's. 

And then, to make the day somewhat worse, I realize that a lot of boredom and stress I get from GW2 stems from my brother. When we're not doing competitive play, I'm just following him around, doing what he thinks we should do next. When he spends half an hour to buff himself up with gear, I have to wait around patiently. But when I want to buff myself up with gear, I feel like I'm being rushed. 

I just experienced my first taste of PvP, and it sucked because of my brother. We were trying to just fight each other alone, but other players kept coming in and creating imbalance within teams. I got so angry - it was embarrassing. This was supposed to help me manage my anxiety/nervousness when fighting other players (so I can calm down and actually focus on strategy), but all this evening's done is made it worse. So I stormed off on an awkward note and spent the next 30-40 minutes playing by myself, not even bothering to talk to my brother.

And now, I'm sitting here pissed, on the verge of tears, because this day pretty much sucked, and I have to wake up at 6 tomorrow. Reading Lulu's posts didn't make me feel better about the whole school thing, either. 

No sappy pep-talks today. I needed to vent. 
Ugh.