Ostara

by elbardo @ deviantART

An overcast morning here for the first day of spring.

I called upon Cernunnos, El'azar, and Pierre for a mini-reading using the BoS, Wildwood, and Mary-el decks, respectively. I do have to say, though... I might have to let go of Cernunnos. Even though I love him and what he stands for, I feel little to no connection with him. I was thinking of maybe just attuning the deck with Shiva/Spike or even Adonai instead, but I haven't yet decided. 

Anyway, here's what they had to share:

Something inside you which is unyielding and resists change:
Cernunnos: Six of Earth. A very gloomy, lonely card. There are a handful of fae here, but a number of them hide in the shadows, away from their brothers. Creating distance... There's nothing entirely happy about this card and I get the feeling it's relating to friendships and socialization - deliberate avoidance. Extreme introversion. That type of thing.

El'azar: The Wheel. Interesting pick. When I first looked at this card, I thought of balance. Traditionally, I believe this card reflects good fortune (or misfortune), but in terms of my question, well... there's a sense of creativity here, or of craftiness. Making things. Handiness. My eye cannot stray from the wheel at center. But once again, there's a sense of loneliness, despite the warmth of this card. The garment has been made, but there's no one around to admire it, or even take it down. 

Pierre: The Hermit. Wow. Okay, boys. I think I get the message here. And you know something? They're right. Well, of course they're right. But I admit it. I didn't entirely realize it until now, but as much as I say I want new/better friends, I'm still resisting the idea because I'm still not all that eager for socialization or having to give up personal time to maintain friendships. Tri mentioned this before: despite how much of an introvert someone may be, they still need friends - or they'll get lonely. I'm pretty much a fall-back friend to those at school. Otherwise, it's just BB - who I don't talk to all that often - Lulu (even though I've been feeling distanced from her), and a few others from SF. I even crave companionship in GW2, which is weird for me because I usually don't like the personalities of those who play such games. 

Something inside you that wants to emerge:
Cernunnos: Mabon. I don't think the emphasis here is on "harvest," but more so on balance. There's a bit of tension between light and darkness as they reach out to each other... so maybe the same is reflected within. But what part of this reflects something that wants to emerge? Just balance? Mutual understanding? 

El'azar: Ten of Arrows - Instruction. El'azar is switching things up, it seems. An elder is instructing a young boy how to use his bow. This card deeply resonates - El'azar definitely knows what he's talking about. There is a desire within to instruct, teach, lead, and guide. But I feel like that desire has been lost amongst all this school crap and materialism. He's on to something here.

Pierre: Page of Cups. This one is tricky. It's obvious the emphasis is on emotion, but what are the specifics? It looks like there are ship sails in the background. The figure has his/her back to us, and is covered with tattoos of sea life (fish). There is a gentle happiness to this figure's stance. Contentment? Ooh. The words "emotional depth" just popped into my head. Once again... I feel like I know what this card means, but I don't have any words to describe it.

What this new thing can become if nurtured:
Cernunnos: Litha. Bright, warm, and blossoming. Yet there's a sense of (A) companionship and (B) authority. God and Goddess are together, and Goddess looks like she's expecting... they sit/stand before a field of sunflowers. I get the sense of achievement and contentment, of having everything they need or could want. Of being satisfied in the moment. This card, however, would be much different had God or Goddess been alone...

El'azar: Ace of Bows - Spark of Life. Oh, wow. The message here is simple and straightforward. If I pursue the feelings associated with teaching and guiding, that's where I'll find my spark. That makes me truly happy. 

Pierre: Knight of Cups. What was previously a minor representation of emotional depth has now become something much more extreme. Knight of Cups is powerful - this card screams compassion, seeing from the heart, emotional abundance, humility, and power. If you were to consider it negatively, then it could be the opposite. But that's not the basis of this question.

Well that has certainly got me thinking now. I love these "comparisons" between energies, because I like to see which energy focuses on what thing. With Cernunnos, it was connection and companionship. With El'azar, it was making, doing, instructing, guiding. With Pierre, it was exploring the inner depths and the mysteries of the emotional psyche. It kind of reflects each energy, because I feel Cernunnos is a very warm energy... and because he's associated with earth, well. You get the idea. And El'azar - he's not so much "talking" as he is doing. He takes his work very seriously compared to the others. Pierre is the darker aspect, who prefers to travel the unknown.

I'm going to have to dwell on what was brought up here. I'm going to elaborate on this in a separate post, but I feel like... "spirituality" is returning. I may not be able to go entirely back to the whole guides and past lives and twin soul thing; however, there is a craving for spiritual that I haven't really been able to satisfy, and things are beginning to line up, what with my visit to SF and a message I received on my spirit/psychic art FB yesterday. 

Happy Ostara/spring!