Shiva

I've never been much of a religion girl, although I've always admired the various cultures, rituals, stories, and symbolism associated with these religions. There are also various gods/goddesses/entities that I resonate with, merely because they match my vibration and represent something that's meaningful to me. 

Shiva is, by far, the "face" of myself that I resonate with most. There was always something about him that drew me in, despite him being associated with "destruction." He seemed in a lot of ways very similar to my vision of Adonai in the past (if it were to be given a form), and carried a lot of symbolism I enjoyed, such as the three eyes, the crescent moon, the serpents, fire/ash, the tiger skin, and the trident. I love how he represents a different aspect of creation - the dissolving of energies to be recreated into something new. After all, you can't destroy energy, right? 

The thing I still can't understand, though, is why Shiva would "reveal" himself to be the entity I knew as "Spike" a few weeks before my perspective on things changed drastically. I'm aware that this is something I arranged for myself, but I still don't see the point. It took me a LOT of proof and confirmation to be able to accept Shiva as Spike (since I had previously believed Spike was a "soul partner" - I had been given confirmation for that, too), so it seems very pointless to give myself all that only to throw most of it in the trash a few weeks later. 

What did that do for me? What was I trying to prove for myself? Was that supposed to be my final "gift" to myself before stepping away from the guises that are my "guides"? It's like, "Oh, hey. You're going to have no need for this information in a few weeks, but I guess I should tell you that you've been working with Shiva this whole time, not 'Spike.' Later."

I mean, jeez. I, as Shiva/Spike, left myself a lot of breadcrumbs through the past two and a half years:

• Feb 2012: channeling his massive energy left me lightheaded the rest of the day
• March: asked Spike for his story, to which he replied: "There's a time and place for my story, and it's not now."
• The white rose and other flowers he's given me (violet, tiger lily, magnolia)
• "His" nervousness and reluctance to tell me about our "relationship"
• Emphasis on 3 and 5, both of which relate to Shiva (and coincidentally unity/marriage, too)... they popped up many times
• Date I discovered Spike: 5/2/2010... the numerology makes me facepalm
• July: channel session where he appears in white and says "I don't know why you see me as some stiff guru."
• Heather's description of him as "wise, powerful, grounded, majestic, and knowing the battles of power," which I thought was a little much for "Spike"
• Aug 16 (Thur) - the day Lulu felt something "big" would happen... the night before, I got my "Shiva kick."
• Other smaller incidents.

Maybe this was supposed to be a way to get me to connect even more to divinity? Or perhaps just an example on the extent of our creative power? But this information is only good for me, so once again, I see no point, unless I was just telling myself that I resonate with Shiva so much that I assigned that aspect of myself to assist me with my path. After all, my medi sessions have been inspired by him and his mantras, etc. They're very empowering. 

Regardless, I now have trouble picturing Shiva - or any of my other team members for that matter - as separate from me. Instead, I just choose to connect to an aspect of myself, and meditate as that aspect... in this case, Shiva. The power I feel when I do this is amazing, too. 

Sheesh. It's incredible how I went from loving my "separate" identity to loving my singular self in a week or two.

Om namah shivaya.

Finny x