2014 Outlook, part 2

In my previous post, I outlined the themes of each month of 2014 for myself, to determine where to align my energies in accordance with my highest good. In this post, I'm delving into the various areas of my life to determine the same thing. I'm using the Psychic Tarot Oracle again.

Ambition: Firm Foundation. Seems like my sense of ambition will continue being as solid as it is today. This could also suggest that progress will finally begin, now that things are "sturdy" enough. Whatever the case, I can relax a bit knowing that all I need to do is keep believing in my ambitions, because for me, this card says I'm right on track.

Creativity: Heart Chakra. This kind of surprised me, but its message is clear: I need to work from a place of compassion. Seriously. I need to stop worrying about the financial aspects, or not being "good enough," or the competition of the psychic industry. I just need to take my career one client at a time, open my heart to them, and honestly help them through whatever they need help with. On a more personal note, I need to work on my own creative projects with an open heart, as well. I need to stop judging myself and my work, and create things honestly without obsessing over skill. Work out of love in all things.

Health: New Beginnings. I'm not exactly sure how these two relate to each other. It's not as though I've been having health problems, so I think perhaps what this card is suggesting I focus on is a new way of approaching my health. I really need to incorporate some sort of exercise in my day, and I also need to get outside more and eat more plant-based foods (a post on my current diet is to be expected in the near future). I think a mix of these things will help me out tremendously during the year as I work through my issues and changes. 

Money: Harmony. A little baffling, since the image emphasizes harmony in relationships more than anything else. It also appeared in reverse, although I don't read reverse anymore. With that in mind, I'm just going to assume that money won't be too big of a problem this year. Maybe some minor issues as I try to get settled, but otherwise, nothing I can't handle. 

Emotions: Material & Spiritual Prosperity. Well, wow. There's definitely a sense of well-being & contentment with this card. I need to align myself with these feelings and remind myself to focus on abundance/prosperity in all forms. I'm being looked after this year, and this card reassures me that I'll have more than enough to do what I need to do.

Relationships: Sacrifice. It's funny how eager I was to know the outcome of this card now that I'm actually in a relationship. I think it's a bit impatient to want to know the future of a relationship, but... it's kind of hard to not want that. We don't want to get hurt, after all. Of course, it's also presumptuous of me to assume Sacrifice refers to my current partner. What a devilish card, though. What sacrifice will I have to make? Who will that sacrifice be for? Or is this card simply telling me that sacrifice in relationships is something I'll have to learn how to do (perhaps relating to an event I can anticipate)? Guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Mind: Universe. What a powerful card. It's almost too vast to determine what it means for me in 2014. I don't want to say things like, "My awareness will be greatly increased," or "I'll feel more unity," but... those are the impressions I get from this card. Perhaps I will resonate more with the sense of existing, or being, in this universe. Perhaps I will finally find truth that sticks with me through all things. It's hard to say with such a vast card. Maybe all I need to know is that I need to see things from a much bigger perspective, and to remember that there's so much more to a situation than meets the eye.

Struggles: Intuition. I was expecting something a bit more concrete, but I'm actually not surprised with this outcome. One of my biggest struggles this past year has been the battle between rationality and intuition, and it looks like the same thing will be carried on into next year, which makes sense, seeing as I will be in a state of transition and will be relying on my intuition to guide the way. 

Recurring Energies from 2013: Discontent & Boredom. This is certainly reassuring. I'm actually a bit confused now, seeing how the rest of my reading/outlook has put such an emphasis on following my passions, making transitions, and receiving abundance. However, this is an emotional card, and I think the book puts more of an emphasis on discontentment and boredom in relationships, which I do admit I've struggled with over the past year, as well. Maintaining relationships and friendships seems almost like a chore now, even though I don't intend it to be. So that's the meaning I'll glean for myself here.

New Energies Manifesting for 2014: Fulfillment of Wishes. This card again! How lovely! This is so exciting to hear. I can't wait to see what kinds of wishes will be granted. I just need to get my head into manifestation mode and wait to find out. 

Numerology for this part of the reading: 4, representing stability, structure, realization and planning. That's a bit of a comfort, seeing how I expect a lot of instability with all these changes. 

So there I have it. A year of beginnings, ends, and changes awaits me. I'm going to use the rest of December to relax and recuperate, and when January comes, it'll be straight to business (or almost straight to business... at least after my brother leaves). 

I can do this. 

2014 Outlook, part 1

It's that time of year again... 

I broke out my Psychic Tarot Oracle to give myself a light overview of 2014. Of course, I don't do these readings to anticipate what will happen in my future; I simply ask spirit to give me a "theme" to focus on for each month so that I can make the most out of each year. My outlook for 2013 was pretty accurate, and gave me just enough to know where to concentrate my energy in alignment with the forces at work in my life. I'm hoping to do the same for 2014. 

I'm dividing this reading in two parts: the first part simply outlining the "theme" of each month, and the second part delving into more specific areas, such as finance, relationships, career, spiritual development, and so on. 

So for the first part...

January: Fulfillment of Wishes. I was so happy to see this card at the start of my year. I've been going through so much inner/emotional turmoil and stress that it was just so relieving to see that I'll have a chance to have some of my wishes and dreams fulfilled. What this means is: I need to align my energies toward manifestation this month. I need to concentrate on what I really want and express the energy to make it happen, because the universe has my back. 

February: Prosperity Begins. I was delighted to see this come up next! This is a physical card that obviously promises some sort of material abundance. I need to keep focusing on manifestation throughout February in order to make the most out of it, and start tending those seeds I'm planting. 

March: Patience  & Planning. Another physical card that urges me to take the time to ensure I take the necessary steps toward creating the next phase of my life. This will probably be the month I start the process of dropping out of art school, so I need to remember to be patient and do my research to make sure the process goes as smoothly as possible. This card also reminds me to take care of those seeds. 

April: Solitude. This card is a bit too general to glean any specific meaning from, but I think it's enough to remind myself that the theme of April is solitude. It'll probably make more sense to me when April comes around. I need to take the time to look inward and perhaps explore myself a bit more. Who knows? Perhaps this also indicates the month when I move out or start becoming more independent. 

May: Rejoice in Celebration. Another heartwarming emotional card that is as clear as it gets. May is a time of celebration for me. I obviously can't say what I'll be celebrating, but when the time comes, I need to remember to immerse myself in the experience, because it sounds like something big.

June: Sacral Chakra. Seems like I'm going to be working on creativity and sexuality this month. Not much else to glean from this. All I can do is remember to focus on these energies; it could be in the form of creativity/career, or maybe even a relationship... hm. Will have to wait and see.

July: Crown Chakra. Two chakra cards back-to-back... how interesting. Seems like July will be centered around higher consciousness and spirituality. Sounds exciting. I wonder if this is related to the events of June - maybe a progression or evolution of sorts. 

August: Awareness. Yep. Seems like a progression of sorts. A series of events/experiences that open me up to awareness and clarity? This looks more like a month of observation than action... yet the card speaks so much more than that - almost like an awakening, or opening up to a greater state of being. 

September: Intuition. Like a few other cards, a big general, since I use my intuition all the time. I guess I'm assuming something going on this month will require some serious intuitive work. Could be "big stuff" occurring that will result in a battle between logic/rationality and intuition. That's the impression I get, anyway. 

October: Memories of Love. Looks like I may be getting a little nostalgic this month. Someone from my past may resurface and the feelings I receive from this "reunion" will probably encourage me to reflect on how my emotional life is. I need to remind myself to remain in balance emotionally.

November: Material Harvest. Ah. There it is. So the seeds I planted in the beginning of the year will have fruit for the taking late in the year. Already, I'm anticipating those "lessons" of faith and trust.. having to deal with my parents and convince them I'll be well off - trying to trust that I will be abundant at the right time. What's interesting is that this material abundance occurs right around the time my parents will be preparing to move overseas - assuming, of course, that that still happens. We still have no idea. But it's comforting to know that I'll have abundance in some form this year. 

December: Passion Ignited. I get the feeling this is closely tied with Material Harvest, but dang, what a lovely card to end the year with. There's such an ecstasy associated with this image that really reassures me that I'll truly find and live my passions. Yes, I have to work through the nasty/tedious/scary stuff first, but it's clear that this beautiful light is at the end of the tunnel, and now that I know it's there, I'm that much more eager to work on my issues so that I can finally live the life I've always dreamed of. 

Now for the numerology of this reading... 9 and 1 came up the most, with 9 representing completion, endings, transition, and accomplishment, and 1 representing self, unity, beginnings, willpower, courage, and initiation. Beginnings and ends... isn't that fascinating? It's also completely accurate. I expect 2014 to be a year of many transitions and lots of self-work. The ends will be based around me leaving an old chapter of my life: going to art school, being dependent on my parents. The beginnings will be based on me starting a new chapter: being independent, learning to thrive in this society, and working toward my passions. 

I kept saying the theme of 2013 for me was adventure. Although I do feel I could've been a lot more adventurous, I have no regrets for this year. I did what I felt I needed to do. I went to school for the first half of the year, and then spent time at home to reflect on myself for the second half. I'm going to write up a 2013 reflection after my second reading post so I can have a better idea of what I accomplished... but looking ahead, I feel the theme of 2014 is, as the cards suggest, transition. Transition will lead to many changes, and therefore many fears, but I have to remind myself that I'm strong, and devoted, and eager to live the life I'm here to live. I can handle whatever comes my way.    

As Within

Normally, I post most of my readings in my private blog, but I felt this one is just so darned accurate/relevant that it belongs here. 

I pulled out my beloved Mary-el tarot because for weeks, I've been feeling the need to draw from it. So while my PC was installing updates, I sat and focused on three that best described my situation. I called on Pierre, since his energy is the one I associate with this deck, but something unimaginable happened: I couldn't feel him. It felt forced. Perhaps it's been so long that I've lost touch with these guiding energies... I guess I'll find out soon enough.

So I just called on Andromeda, or Adonai, or whatever consciousness is out there. And here's what I ended up with:

• The Devil. Cages, prisons, bondage. Hell. Lies, illusions. The need to keep solidarity in your beliefs, continue to do what is right no matter what should happen. Use the power and force of your fate for good, channel and direct it toward your destiny rather than your destruction. Your shadow side.
• The High Priestess. Mysteries. Feminine, internal knowledge. Look within for answers. What is hidden, secret, occult. Deep, ancient knowledge. Create contrast or polarity.
• 8 of Swords. An unsolved problem, fear, grief, suffering, self-inflicted suffering. Change thoughts, change actions, change cycles. Echo, reverberation. Keep your heart light. Imagine what you desire and nothing else. Know and be true to yourself.

Yup. Pretty accurate... especially that 8 of Swords. But a lot of important tidbits were brought up here, and it's given me quite a bit of perspective on how to handle my situation. So in other words: I have a starting point now. Over these past several days, I've been trying to stick my feet back into all things spiritual. But I think before I start working with other people again, I need to work on myself. 

Time to crack out the pretty music.

Beltane

"Beltane Reunion" - by Emily Balivet

May. Although I could truly care less about what day/month it is, knowing that it's finally "May" is quite a sigh of relief, because that means the end of the quarter is around the corner. 9 more actual days of school. 

With the first day of May comes Beltane, celebrating the fertility and abundance of earth and good old-fashioned sexual energy. I won't pretend to be an expert on Beltane, because I'm certainly not, but I do respect and admire what it represents... it's part of the reason why I love spring so much. Abundance... new energies. A time for things to begin anew. 

I did a reading for myself. Nothing too elaborate - just an elemental sort of thing, two cards per energy. I asked Spike about the emotional, Pierre about the spiritual, El'azar about the physical, and Leon about the mental. Since I already wrote it down on my private blog, I'll just make a quick jotlist of what came up:

• Emotionally, I'm balanced at present, especially in regard to masculine and feminine energies. I'm approaching my situation with both male and female qualities, which is quite true. To improve my emotional state, I merely have to go with the flow. Emotion isn't something you can "force." You can change your perspective, and improve understanding, but if you're depressed, the cover of "happiness" only lasts so long.
• Physically, I'm in a place of ecstasy. El'azar had some strange answers for me. I don't feel like I'm in a place of physical ecstasy, but I think that's exactly why he chose this card for me. I'm focusing too much on the future - it dominates my thoughts. As for improvement, another incredibly odd choice: a card that essentially parallels The Tower. So I think a big change stands in the way of improving my physical state.
• Mentally, I'm in the right place. Leon is encouraging the process of manifestation, and is saying that my thoughts are promising prosperity. To improve my mental state, I merely have to keep aware of my thoughts... my intentions.
• Spiritually, I'm expanding, but Pierre says there is power that is "trapped" within me - potential that has yet to be released. What kind of power? I'm not sure yet. But to improve my spiritual state, I have to focus more on compassion, of extending a loving hand rather than focusing on the material side of things. 

El'azar, as always, was pretty blunt. I'm always intrigued by the differing perspectives of these guiding energies. I can literally see their distinction... what they tend to focus on, as well as how they express it (e.g. Ellie's bluntness compared to Pierre's cryptic, metaphorical psyche-talk, compared to Leon's simple and straightforward messages, etc.). At least I know where some of my priorities lie now.

I have a lot on my mind. Obviously. In Italian Renaissance yesterday, I spent only a quarter of the time actually paying attention. The rest of that time was spent thinking about all the ideas I was getting about my psychic art business, what I could offer, etc., as well as other things. It makes me wonder if someone is legitimately inspiring me, as in encouraging me to actually offer me these things, or if it's just my materialistic mind thinking, "How else can I stand out from the crowd?"

I mean, I'm getting a lot of cool ideas... things that people might genuinely be interested in. And it would definitely help attract more potential clients... but I need to remember to focus on the helping part instead of the making money part. Which is difficult, I know, because I've been impressed with the urge to sustain myself, made stronger by my parents, whom I feel like I have to "prove wrong." Quite a challenge. But it's nice to know that my thoughts are relatively in the right place. The more I focus on this success, the better (and sooner?) I'll have it.

Of course, I'm still feeling the doubt. I just read a little post by Ravynne Phelan, the artist who illustrated the Mythic Oracle deck and is currently working on the Dreams of Gaia deck (which is so beautiful... holy Shiva, I can't wait). She was basically saying in a nutshell how difficult being an artist is, what with the whole "selling yourself and your products" thing. But despite everything she said, she still doesn't regret where she is, and is happy to be living the life she has. And that's what I needed to hear.

Like always, I had a lot more I was going to say. But it's already 10 AM, and I have a bit of homework to do with InDesign, although to be honest, I don't think I'm going to get much of it done. 

The creative energies are flowing in all the right places... I trust they'll lead me to the proper place. 

Ostara

by elbardo @ deviantART

An overcast morning here for the first day of spring.

I called upon Cernunnos, El'azar, and Pierre for a mini-reading using the BoS, Wildwood, and Mary-el decks, respectively. I do have to say, though... I might have to let go of Cernunnos. Even though I love him and what he stands for, I feel little to no connection with him. I was thinking of maybe just attuning the deck with Shiva/Spike or even Adonai instead, but I haven't yet decided. 

Anyway, here's what they had to share:

Something inside you which is unyielding and resists change:
Cernunnos: Six of Earth. A very gloomy, lonely card. There are a handful of fae here, but a number of them hide in the shadows, away from their brothers. Creating distance... There's nothing entirely happy about this card and I get the feeling it's relating to friendships and socialization - deliberate avoidance. Extreme introversion. That type of thing.

El'azar: The Wheel. Interesting pick. When I first looked at this card, I thought of balance. Traditionally, I believe this card reflects good fortune (or misfortune), but in terms of my question, well... there's a sense of creativity here, or of craftiness. Making things. Handiness. My eye cannot stray from the wheel at center. But once again, there's a sense of loneliness, despite the warmth of this card. The garment has been made, but there's no one around to admire it, or even take it down. 

Pierre: The Hermit. Wow. Okay, boys. I think I get the message here. And you know something? They're right. Well, of course they're right. But I admit it. I didn't entirely realize it until now, but as much as I say I want new/better friends, I'm still resisting the idea because I'm still not all that eager for socialization or having to give up personal time to maintain friendships. Tri mentioned this before: despite how much of an introvert someone may be, they still need friends - or they'll get lonely. I'm pretty much a fall-back friend to those at school. Otherwise, it's just BB - who I don't talk to all that often - Lulu (even though I've been feeling distanced from her), and a few others from SF. I even crave companionship in GW2, which is weird for me because I usually don't like the personalities of those who play such games. 

Something inside you that wants to emerge:
Cernunnos: Mabon. I don't think the emphasis here is on "harvest," but more so on balance. There's a bit of tension between light and darkness as they reach out to each other... so maybe the same is reflected within. But what part of this reflects something that wants to emerge? Just balance? Mutual understanding? 

El'azar: Ten of Arrows - Instruction. El'azar is switching things up, it seems. An elder is instructing a young boy how to use his bow. This card deeply resonates - El'azar definitely knows what he's talking about. There is a desire within to instruct, teach, lead, and guide. But I feel like that desire has been lost amongst all this school crap and materialism. He's on to something here.

Pierre: Page of Cups. This one is tricky. It's obvious the emphasis is on emotion, but what are the specifics? It looks like there are ship sails in the background. The figure has his/her back to us, and is covered with tattoos of sea life (fish). There is a gentle happiness to this figure's stance. Contentment? Ooh. The words "emotional depth" just popped into my head. Once again... I feel like I know what this card means, but I don't have any words to describe it.

What this new thing can become if nurtured:
Cernunnos: Litha. Bright, warm, and blossoming. Yet there's a sense of (A) companionship and (B) authority. God and Goddess are together, and Goddess looks like she's expecting... they sit/stand before a field of sunflowers. I get the sense of achievement and contentment, of having everything they need or could want. Of being satisfied in the moment. This card, however, would be much different had God or Goddess been alone...

El'azar: Ace of Bows - Spark of Life. Oh, wow. The message here is simple and straightforward. If I pursue the feelings associated with teaching and guiding, that's where I'll find my spark. That makes me truly happy. 

Pierre: Knight of Cups. What was previously a minor representation of emotional depth has now become something much more extreme. Knight of Cups is powerful - this card screams compassion, seeing from the heart, emotional abundance, humility, and power. If you were to consider it negatively, then it could be the opposite. But that's not the basis of this question.

Well that has certainly got me thinking now. I love these "comparisons" between energies, because I like to see which energy focuses on what thing. With Cernunnos, it was connection and companionship. With El'azar, it was making, doing, instructing, guiding. With Pierre, it was exploring the inner depths and the mysteries of the emotional psyche. It kind of reflects each energy, because I feel Cernunnos is a very warm energy... and because he's associated with earth, well. You get the idea. And El'azar - he's not so much "talking" as he is doing. He takes his work very seriously compared to the others. Pierre is the darker aspect, who prefers to travel the unknown.

I'm going to have to dwell on what was brought up here. I'm going to elaborate on this in a separate post, but I feel like... "spirituality" is returning. I may not be able to go entirely back to the whole guides and past lives and twin soul thing; however, there is a craving for spiritual that I haven't really been able to satisfy, and things are beginning to line up, what with my visit to SF and a message I received on my spirit/psychic art FB yesterday. 

Happy Ostara/spring!       

Annual Overview

Today was a slow day. The weather didn't help much, either - it's the kind of weather in which you're supposed to curl up inside behind a book or film or some writing/art... but at least it's over now. Six days left.

Referring to the thing about manifestation I said this morning - it happened again. I demanded the garage door be up, and when I got there, it was down. But guess what?

There was a spot available on the second level that was right next to the freaking entrance.

There's never a spot available near the entrance on the upper floors... not at 10 AM. So that's exactly what I mean. The universe "denies" my original request and gives me something better. 

That makes me happy.

In other news... we find out who the president is in a few hours. I know voting in my area ends at 7 PM. It's currently 5:30. I forget when they actually show the results. But I felt kind of... I don't know. It's just that practically all my classmates voted today, and when I was asked why I didn't vote, I couldn't really give a good answer. I just told them that if I did vote, it would just come down to me picking who's more tolerable. 

And I mean - I like Obama. I really do. He has a lot better vibes than Romney, but when it comes down to it, Obama's still a politician, and for the life of me, I can't think too highly of someone who sits down and decides, "I'm going to rule the free world" - unless they're seriously, genuinely trying to make the world a better place. Back in 2008, I was a bit more naive. I was all excited for Obama because he was a big step up from Bush, and I was happy to see someone who wasn't an old Republican white guy taking charge of things for once. Now, however, I realize that there's a lot more to the book than its cover.

Meh. I'll just be glad when this is over. I've been quite indifferent toward politics all my life, so I just don't see the point. Although I'll be disappointed in America if it chooses Romney, life will just go on. And who knows? Maybe if Romney is elected, it'll stir up a crapload of rebellion, and people will begin pursuing the truth.

Anyway. I decided to do another annual reading for myself for 2013 using my Psychic Tarot and Mythic oracle decks. So let's see...

The rest of 2012
Disruption. Oh, that's lovely. Makes sense. Then again, I wonder if this means I'm going to "sectionalize" myself or will hold myself back... because I don't see much "disruption" happening unless it's all energetic/spiritual (I'm going to be at home most of the time). I guess I'll see.

January
Balance and Thanatos. So balance... but change at the same time? Thanatos I can understand well, because he's representing renewal or transformation here. Moving into a new state of being or new cycle. As for balance, I can't say if this is going to be a goal or an external state. 

February 
Heartache & Loss and Hermes. I've never seen the former in a reading before. Huh. I do admit this is a tad concerning. Then again, this is a mental card, so "loss" can pretty much apply to anything I may be mentally attached to. That should be interesting. As for Hermes... he seems to be communicating movement more than "messages." "Messages" is a pretty general idea. So I'll go with movement. 

March
Discontent & Boredom, and Hestia. My birth month... this is kind of disappointing. I do tend to get bored a lot, so I do wonder what this will pertain to. As for Hestia, she's comforting to see, because she stands for home and hearth. Then again, she carries fire, and to me, that's communicating passion or spirit, like enthusiasm. Interesting.

April
Spiritual Union and Themis. Errr wow. That first one. That caught me off guard, because that's a very "romantic" card. Then again, it doesn't have to indicate only romance. Spiritual union can relate to my sense of unity with others and the world. But it'll be emphasized this month, along with Themis, who's associated with natural order. This month is chock full of more balance.

May
Emotional Withdrawal and Persephone. Spending some time to look inward this month, but Persephone's indicating an awakening of sorts. Me likey. Perhaps that awakening will cause the emotional withdrawal. 

June
Wisdom and Achilles. Wow. This pairing indicates movement toward one of my dreams/desires. Sharing wisdom and being recognized for it... that's what June's saying to me. Cool beans. (More fire symbolism by the way)

July
Sacrifice and Uranus. Yeah, that first card isn't terribly happy (the illustration makes it seem brighter though). I find it interesting how Uranus plays into this one, though, since he represents "Father." I wonder if this will relate to my dad, then?  

August
Choose Wisely and Bellerophon. Choices to make, huh... That's always fun. And an emphasis on humility. Seems like August may be a big month as far as chasing heart's desires go. Oh, jeez. I hope it's not a repeat of October...

September
Emotional Loss and Artemis. Wow. 2013 is quite the emotional year for me, apparently. And loss. Second time. Although the card associates Artemis with purity, I personally associate her with the hunt. Striking a target. 

October
Temptation and Cronus. Interesting mix. Cronus here represents cycles... so I wonder how temptation will play into this. New cycles - could that have anything to do with the previous month?

November
Destiny and Odysseus. An emphasis on JOURNEY and DESTINY. How so very interesting. It's like I'm seeing a new path here... over these past few months.

December 
Stand Your Ground and Ares. Hahaha. What a perfect duo. Lots of battle going on this month. I get the feeling this may have to do with my ambitions... doing what my parents want versus what I want. Again. Oh dear...

Significator (Overall Theme)
Solitude and Gaia. Spending time on my own... self-exploring. An emphasis on feminine/motherly OR nature. Hm. 

Now for the numerology... 1, 2, and 5 came up the most (mainly 2). 1 indicates leadership, beginnings, self, courage, and willpower (appropriate). 2 indicates balance, duality, partnership, choices, reflection, and diversity (also appropriate). And 5 indicates change, uncertainty, realignment, freedom, and travel (also appropriate). 

Ugh. That last one reminds me of Spike/Shiva... 5 is his number. 

Well, as far as growth goes, 2013 is looking good. I should be well-prepared for this "loss," at least. 

Now I'm off to watch Half-Blood Prince. 

Evaah  

  





 

Fume Headaches

So I spent my whole day anticipating my new oracle cards. It was practically torture. It was almost like UPS knew how excited I was, because they normally come midday to early afternoon, but today, the guy came at 6:30 PM. 

That's all behind me now, of course, because they're here, and they're fabulous. I'm satisfied with my purchases... so now I'm just sitting and waiting for my Gita deck, which I'm sure will be my favorite for obvious reasons. Amazon told me it shipped today, but I still can't track it yet, so... I'm still hoping I receive a pleasant surprise tomorrow, especially since I'm not going to P&D (I realized I had a lot more storyboarding homework than I initially expected). 

The Psychic Tarot deck is pretty nifty. I like the illustrations, even if they are kind of standard. Half of them appear to be inspired by medieval times, while half are more new-agey. I don't care much for the medieval ones, but I like them enough. I was also pleasantly surprised to find that they are purple on the backs and edged with gold (purple & gold = win). I also enjoy the tarot-oracle hybrid style... The major Arcana were renamed, and the minor Arcana were replaced by colors, which I like, because it helps me understand the emphasis of the card (red for physical, green for emotional, etc.). My only complaint for this deck so far is that it's a little hard to handle. The cards are wide and a little thick, which makes shuffling difficult. Even my method of drawing cards is a bit challenging with this deck (I don't shuffle and deal like most others; instead, I hold the deck in my hands and let my intuition guide me to a certain "side" of the deck, where I'll then split it, put aside one half, and draw the card on top. I feel more satisfied with the cards this way because I know it was my intuition that guided me... seems less like random pulling). 

So yeah. Thumbs up for Psychic Tarot so far, other than that one complaint.

The second deck I purchased, Fallen Angels, is my favorite of the two so far (until Gita arrives... lol). Just look at that art, yo. Very visually striking. As expected, they did a good job assigning attributes to the angels. I was very excited to find Marchosias in there, too, because I adore Marchosias. There's a good balance between positive and negative cards, although I do admit it's difficult for me to keep up with the angels themselves. Half the names I don't know how to properly pronounce... and I'm only familiar with a handful of them. But it'll come with time and practice. 
I also dig the size and thinness of these cards. They're easier to shuffle (if I need to shuffle) and handle. My only complaint is just a matter of unfamiliarity with the cards, because the names are hard to memorize and many of them share similar characteristics. Oh - and it's better to use these cards for more serious matters. They're not ideal for, say, spiritual progress and fluffy topics. These guys are best suited for plain old life and its drama.I mean, they can be used for any topic, but interpretation gets a little tricky for fluffier ones.

What I found interesting with the Fallen Angel deck is that I could receive impressions of what these entities were telling me. I was doing my first reading with this deck for a guy at SF - he asked about this girl who expressed interest in him and what he should do about the situation (because she's apparently "stalling") and the card I drew to represent the present was Focalor, who's associated with turmoil and madness. When I was typing up the description, I heard a quiet voice "say" distinctly in my mind: "This is crazy. Don't waste your time." 

I kind of had to laugh, because I've referred to myself as angel-deaf all these years... yet the moment I start working with the wise entities of the darkness, I can "hear" them easily. I know what some people are probably thinking, so I'll say: just let it go. I respect your truth, so please respect mine.

So I spent my evening doing a few readings for the peeps at SF who are interested. Good results so far. But now I have a semi-headache from the potent "new cards" fumes... you guys probably know what I'm talking about. But it's worth it. 

Aww. I missed card reading. So much fun. I always love to see which cards pop up... 

Finny 

 

Seeking Answers

"Shaman Light" - by Amanda Clark

I've been lazy all day. And mopey. Almost burst into tears when eating just a few minutes ago because my dad passed by and said: "Try to look more enthusiastic. Life is good." I told him, "That's ironic," to which he replied: "Ironic or moronic?"

"Both," I said. 

I did have a highlight, though... aside from curling up with episodes of Supernatural. My brother's early Yule gift to me arrived today. The new version of Pokemon. ...Yes, I'm a Pokemon gal. Grew up with it, so it's dear to my heart. 

I did a more comprehensive reading for myself using my self-made cosmic oracle deck. Celtic spread. Asked if it's in my best interest to ditch school and follow my heart.

Present:
Wheel of Vision. A focus on the third eye region and its related gifts. Inner sight, self-reflection, looking within. This is fairly accurate, since I've been doing some soul-searching regarding this matter. Visualizing and whatnot.

Immediate Challenge:
The Golden Wings. Seeing from a higher perspective, or soaring spiritually. This makes sense, too. The former is more applicable to this scenario - I can see why it may be a challenge to view things from a higher perspective. I'll have to figure out what the pros and cons of my decision will be and so on. 

Distant Past: (6 mo. +)
Art of Logic. Hahaha. This is SO true. This is referring to my initial decision to attend art school. It was quite simply a decision based on practicality, realism, and logic. "What's the most logical choice?" School, of course. I had a skill I wanted to improve, and I wasn't quite ready to hop right into the working industry, so school it was.

Recent Past: (3 mo. +)
The Star Keeper. This pertains to ambitions, goals, and dreams of the heart. Also quite accurate, since this is around the time when everything started changing, and I felt more inclined than ever to follow my dreams and ditch my old path. 

Best Outcome:
Divine Feminine. I found this interesting. But what does the divine feminine entail? Creation. Creativity/fertility. Emotion. So this is a positive sign.

Immediate Future:
Wheel of Empowerment. I was kind of happy to see this, because this suggests that in the near future, I'll feel empowered enough to take charge of my life and take the steps necessary to manifest my desires.

Factors Affecting Situation:
Divination. Seeking truth or answers, or exploring the unseen. These are my inner feelings. And since this doesn't contrast with the first card (actually, it complements it pretty well), this suggests that I'm actually on the right path. But hey, it's accurate enough on its own, too. Obviously I'm seeking answers, and I'm definitely exploring the unseen (in general, but also when it comes to manifestation). 

External Influences:
Divine Wisdom. These are forces I can't control which will affect the outcome of my situation. In this case, divine counsel, advice, and enlightenment. This is good. I have powerful forces working behind me.

Hopes and Fears:
Celestial Fate. Kind of speaks for itself, although it doesn't do a good job clearly defining my hopes/fears. I mean, yeah, I believe in "half-fate," but that doesn't have that much to do with my situation... or does it? My clarification card was Divine Guidance. Signs, messages, synchronicity, and other general guidance. Well, that's not too revealing. Of course I'm seeking signs. Oh, whatever. 

Final Outcome:
Goddess of Water. Also interesting. This card is all about purification, cleansing, and healing, but also pertains to emotion or even the essence of life. My clarification cards were Divine Summer and Inner Silence. The former is a lovely indicator of contentment, relaxation, entertainment, rest, joy, and warmth. The latter relates to meditation, contemplation, and listening to the voice within. 

I also asked my Greek oracle deck, in which I got symbolism for rash action, fraud/deceit, light, and (which hopped out of the deck) hope and expectation. But to be honest, I don't resonate with these pickings because I don't resonate much with that deck anymore. So I think I'll just ditch those. 

I've been receiving various other signs, as well. On tumblr, someone posted a spell for "new beginnings." Maybe that's also what Lucifer's "presence" represents - new light. The morning star which rises at dawn, to indicate the beginnings of a new day. Then, of course, there's Lulu, who's paralleling me, and a surplus of other inspiring quotes pertaining to manifestation. 

So I guess now it's just a matter of weighing the pros and cons, and then finally sitting down to talk to my dad/parents about this. That last bit will make me nervous as hell, because this is a huge part of my life and my future, and I know it's going to be hard for them to accept. But I have to do this. I want to be happy. And I won't be happy if I waste three or three and a half more years - and $100k - just to follow my parents' practical advice. 

Finny x