As Above

by telthona @ deviantART

I received my BoS - As Above deck today. And I'm freaking fangirling. Very, very satisfied with my purchase. I already know that this will be my main deck; I resonate with its theme and illustrations so well.

I'm probably going to set aside a journal or something in my spread binder to work out personal meanings behind the cards, though. Because this deck is Wicca-inspired, there are some concepts that I haven't fully come to understand and learn, such as the meanings behind the Wheel of the Year (Yule, Beltane, Imbolc, etc.). I want to familiarize myself with the subject material and add on some personal symbolism to get the most out of these cards. 

I don't know what it is about Paganism/Wicca, but something about it and its branches draws me in. Maybe it's the emphasis on nature, and the connection between all things. I love all the rich symbolism, the incorporation of cyclical themes, the festivals, the rituals, and even the concept of the God & Goddess, which, in my opinion, is a much more resonant concept than just one "Father God." 

Although I will admit: I'm not too happy with how many Pagans/Wiccans (mainly young ones) get so snobbish with their faith. I see it on tumblr all the time: people who criticize and attack others for "cultural/religious appropriation," getting their facts wrong, or not following the path in a specific way. It just goes to show that Christians aren't the only ones who get nasty when it comes to religion. 

Despite that, though, I'm still very intrigued by what Paganism and Wicca have to offer. I love learning about them. I just wish that I had a reliable source to do some research... I'm learning mainly from the teachings and experiences of others, but I can't guarantee if what they speak of is actually true, or just information they snagged from some obscure part of the internet.

I was doing some thinking about Earth beliefs earlier. The more I stew on it - and the more I look around - the more I realize that perhaps this theory is really true. Like I mentioned before: it's really presumptuous of us to believe that everything we perceive on Earth applies to the rest of the universe. What if every single spiritual truth we learn is a truth meant only for Earth existence? It would make sense with what Adonai told me long ago: that we'll never acquire the ultimate truth on Earth. With that in mind, you would think I'd stop trying to find "answers." And maybe that's the point. Maybe I came to this conclusion because I need to stop figuring out the universe and start living.

I can't help it though. This energy of mine seeks knowledge. Then again, I'm not seeking ultimate answers. I'm seeking answers that will help me live and appreciate life to the fullest. I'm an explorer. I like to explore options and new paths. 

And then I remember: there was a time when I wasn't into spirituality. I was just living my life as a young, responsible student, doing whatever it was that was expected of me. I thought briefly about the existence of a God, and then shrugged it off until I stumbled upon that one novel in middle school that pretty much began everything. To think that this one little novel brought me to this state of awareness... it's remarkable. 

I'm trying to imagine the person I'd be if I wasn't the type who likes to come up with theories about the existence of life and the universe. And I can't. Because the majority of my day is spent thinking about such things. I stare at my computer and think spiritual thoughts. I look outside and think spiritual thoughts. I eat and think spiritual thoughts. Everything I do has me thinking profoundly. 

And you know something? It's those profound thoughts that serve as my inspiration. They're the driving force that not only fuels my creative passions, but keeps me in awe of existence. The more I learn, the more eager I am to expand my consciousness, and the more willing I am to use that knowledge to help live a fulfilling life. I would rather try to figure out the universe than sit blankly behind the TV, absorbing all the junk that society wants me to absorb. 

There's so much out there waiting to be discovered. Sheesh. 

I think I'll go Merlin myself up now before I head to bed.     

Odyssey

"Leading the Way" - by Nanette55 @ deviantART

I received a nudge today. I felt very inclined to ditch my original Tumblr account (I didn't post anything myself and only kept an eye on, like, 9 blogs) and make another one that would serve as the Tumblr counterpart of VotS. I then sat down for an hour or two and searched through tags for blogs that I knew I would enjoy. Most of them are Pagan/Wiccan blogs (they post a lot of cool and interesting stuff). But I also figured that I would start posting my own material, as well, as another way to draw attention to VotS and even Eyes of Adonai... eventually.

I believe this "nudge" was in response to my two recent demands: 1.) to attract higher-vibe friends, and 2.) to network with people of similar interests. Plus, this is a good way to allow me to learn about what I'm now interested in... and discover some cool tidbits along the way. The only problem is that the more blogs I follow, the more content I'll have to sift through... so a lot of time is lost. But I think I'll manage. I've been feeling hungry for new info, new perspectives. I've even been drawn to watch more nature documentaries and such as of late, because I enjoy observing the "spirit" behind the "science" (or "history"). 

I'm also leaning back toward meditation at this time. God. There's so much I want to do, but thanks to school, I have no time to do it all. I still have 24 days of class to sit through before I can take a month and a half off to explore all this stuff in depth. 
As for meditation, though... yeah. I read about four main "methods" of meditation: 1.) Zen, where you focus on a particular "object" through seated positions and breathing techniques; 2.) Mindfulness, where you focus on the present moment; 3.) Qigong, which utilizes breathing, hand movements, and physical exercises to clear the mind, and 4.) Mantra, which is self-explanatory, but also utilizes a mala to help keep track of the mantra repetitions.

That last one caught my attention, because a lovely member from SF gifted me a couple of malas (one standard one and one small "bracelet") in return for a spirit portrait a while back. I used to wear them because they gave off such wonderful energy, but I never used them properly because I never meditated with mantras before. I'm thinking I should probably utilize them - or at least the standard quartz one! 

It's starting to get cooler here. In fact, today was a good first chilly day of the season. As my dad says: "Georgia has two seasons: hot and cold." It's pretty much true. We have only a handful of "perfect" days during spring and autumn. But like I mentioned sometime earlier... I'm going to try and enjoy the cold this year. It sucks because I have no meat on this little skin, and on top of that, bad circulation, so the cold is just generally uncomfortable for me. I'll try, though. Especially since cold is invigorating for the body (like the ishnan showers). 

Other than that, I've been feeling very crafty and productive. It's kind of irritating because school occupies my time, but I'm trying to enjoy school while I can, since I'll only be here for a few years. So I have to shove those feelings in the background for now and focus on my work. I do admit I have a little pet peeve when it comes to my dad; every day he'll ask me: "Were you productive today?" or "What did you get done today?".. even though he KNOWS I'm the "responsible one" who maintains an A/B average through all her classes. It's just a tad insulting, so when I asked him why he keeps repeating this question, he said: "I need to know that my money's being spent properly." 

I find that awfully hypocritical, considering my dad is the biggest spender in the house. He'll buy all sorts of things that he'll only use for a month or two before growing tired of them or discarding them. Hell, he just spent $16 on a pair of tweezers only to end up breaking them.

But I digress. 

Finny x

Intention

"Dao of Yoga" - by Geoglyphiks

Something I've been noticing lately is how powerful my intention can be. Readers from SF have probably heard me mention wanting to experiment with "magic," or an energy similar to it (I assume it's the same as any other form of creative energy). I was mainly experimenting with invisibility, which I would apply to my car and myself in various situations. 

I drive a beamer now. Before, I was driving my mom's '98 Ford Contour, which is 13-14 years old. But both of our Contours are becoming unreliable, so we finally invested in a used '06 BMW 5 series, which made me nervous because I didn't want other people being interested in my car (my school actually had a couple of auto thefts last year). I named it Pierre, but my parents wanted to call it Johann, so therefore... Johann-Pierre.

Applying invisibility to the Contour wasn't that interesting because I knew no one would want to steal an old car like her. But I started driving Johann-Pierre yesterday, and have been applying invisibility to it. Now, when I apply "invisibility," it's obviously not like I'm making it invisible to the naked eye. I'm making it invisible to someone's interest - so he/she doesn't walk by and think, "Hey, I want to steal this nice BMW..."  They'll... overlook it.

"Invisibility" is a mix between intention and visualization. To entertain myself, I'll borrow/visualize Zenoheria's ring (expect a post about this later for those who don't come from SF), rotate it three times on my finger, and then visualize the car becoming invisible. I then make my intention: "Johann-Pierre, you are invisible. No one will be interested in you. It's my demand that NO ONE will be interested in you."

I do the same thing in my math class, because my professor likes to call on random people to answer questions. Therefore, I imagine myself invisible and once again state my intention: "I am invisible. You have no interest in calling on me." Throw in some firm belief, and bam. Today was my 7th math class, and I haven't been called on yet. And keep in mind that the lecture portion of the class is anywhere from an hour to an hour and a half long.

The reason I'm bringing this up now is because I noticed something interesting today. See, I like parking on the bottom of our parking deck. But to easily access the bottom, this certain garage door has to be up. Ever since the beginning of school 3 weeks ago, the garage has only been up 3 or 4 times, out of 14 days. Every morning, I would merely request the door to be up. "Please let the garage door be open today." And I think there was only one success. Some mornings I'd make the request, only to find it down. 

But today, I demanded it. I said: "It's my demand that the garage door be up." I threw in some visualization and some firm belief... and voila. Door was up. Now, of course I'm going to have to experiment with this some more to see if it actually works, but I'm convinced it will.

So I'm guessing that "magic" is a mix between creative energy and intention. I'm not too familiar with Wicca, but I believe the process is similar... Through a specific ritual, and intention being expressed with certain resonant words, you receive a force that is black, white, or neutral. I always wondered why they tacked on "so mote it be," or "so be it" to the end of spells. That's part of the intention. When you perform the ritual, you are adding to your intention, but also activating the creative energy that will manifest whatever it is you're seeking.

Will definitely be experimenting with this more. I've also noticed that by intending/visualizing my energy to be white, bright, and expansive, people are more drawn to me. I get more stares, people are more willing to sit by me (even in close proximity), and people generally seem more open to my presence, whereas before... not so much.

Very interesting... 

Finny x