As Above

by telthona @ deviantART

I received my BoS - As Above deck today. And I'm freaking fangirling. Very, very satisfied with my purchase. I already know that this will be my main deck; I resonate with its theme and illustrations so well.

I'm probably going to set aside a journal or something in my spread binder to work out personal meanings behind the cards, though. Because this deck is Wicca-inspired, there are some concepts that I haven't fully come to understand and learn, such as the meanings behind the Wheel of the Year (Yule, Beltane, Imbolc, etc.). I want to familiarize myself with the subject material and add on some personal symbolism to get the most out of these cards. 

I don't know what it is about Paganism/Wicca, but something about it and its branches draws me in. Maybe it's the emphasis on nature, and the connection between all things. I love all the rich symbolism, the incorporation of cyclical themes, the festivals, the rituals, and even the concept of the God & Goddess, which, in my opinion, is a much more resonant concept than just one "Father God." 

Although I will admit: I'm not too happy with how many Pagans/Wiccans (mainly young ones) get so snobbish with their faith. I see it on tumblr all the time: people who criticize and attack others for "cultural/religious appropriation," getting their facts wrong, or not following the path in a specific way. It just goes to show that Christians aren't the only ones who get nasty when it comes to religion. 

Despite that, though, I'm still very intrigued by what Paganism and Wicca have to offer. I love learning about them. I just wish that I had a reliable source to do some research... I'm learning mainly from the teachings and experiences of others, but I can't guarantee if what they speak of is actually true, or just information they snagged from some obscure part of the internet.

I was doing some thinking about Earth beliefs earlier. The more I stew on it - and the more I look around - the more I realize that perhaps this theory is really true. Like I mentioned before: it's really presumptuous of us to believe that everything we perceive on Earth applies to the rest of the universe. What if every single spiritual truth we learn is a truth meant only for Earth existence? It would make sense with what Adonai told me long ago: that we'll never acquire the ultimate truth on Earth. With that in mind, you would think I'd stop trying to find "answers." And maybe that's the point. Maybe I came to this conclusion because I need to stop figuring out the universe and start living.

I can't help it though. This energy of mine seeks knowledge. Then again, I'm not seeking ultimate answers. I'm seeking answers that will help me live and appreciate life to the fullest. I'm an explorer. I like to explore options and new paths. 

And then I remember: there was a time when I wasn't into spirituality. I was just living my life as a young, responsible student, doing whatever it was that was expected of me. I thought briefly about the existence of a God, and then shrugged it off until I stumbled upon that one novel in middle school that pretty much began everything. To think that this one little novel brought me to this state of awareness... it's remarkable. 

I'm trying to imagine the person I'd be if I wasn't the type who likes to come up with theories about the existence of life and the universe. And I can't. Because the majority of my day is spent thinking about such things. I stare at my computer and think spiritual thoughts. I look outside and think spiritual thoughts. I eat and think spiritual thoughts. Everything I do has me thinking profoundly. 

And you know something? It's those profound thoughts that serve as my inspiration. They're the driving force that not only fuels my creative passions, but keeps me in awe of existence. The more I learn, the more eager I am to expand my consciousness, and the more willing I am to use that knowledge to help live a fulfilling life. I would rather try to figure out the universe than sit blankly behind the TV, absorbing all the junk that society wants me to absorb. 

There's so much out there waiting to be discovered. Sheesh. 

I think I'll go Merlin myself up now before I head to bed.     

Odyssey

"Leading the Way" - by Nanette55 @ deviantART

I received a nudge today. I felt very inclined to ditch my original Tumblr account (I didn't post anything myself and only kept an eye on, like, 9 blogs) and make another one that would serve as the Tumblr counterpart of VotS. I then sat down for an hour or two and searched through tags for blogs that I knew I would enjoy. Most of them are Pagan/Wiccan blogs (they post a lot of cool and interesting stuff). But I also figured that I would start posting my own material, as well, as another way to draw attention to VotS and even Eyes of Adonai... eventually.

I believe this "nudge" was in response to my two recent demands: 1.) to attract higher-vibe friends, and 2.) to network with people of similar interests. Plus, this is a good way to allow me to learn about what I'm now interested in... and discover some cool tidbits along the way. The only problem is that the more blogs I follow, the more content I'll have to sift through... so a lot of time is lost. But I think I'll manage. I've been feeling hungry for new info, new perspectives. I've even been drawn to watch more nature documentaries and such as of late, because I enjoy observing the "spirit" behind the "science" (or "history"). 

I'm also leaning back toward meditation at this time. God. There's so much I want to do, but thanks to school, I have no time to do it all. I still have 24 days of class to sit through before I can take a month and a half off to explore all this stuff in depth. 
As for meditation, though... yeah. I read about four main "methods" of meditation: 1.) Zen, where you focus on a particular "object" through seated positions and breathing techniques; 2.) Mindfulness, where you focus on the present moment; 3.) Qigong, which utilizes breathing, hand movements, and physical exercises to clear the mind, and 4.) Mantra, which is self-explanatory, but also utilizes a mala to help keep track of the mantra repetitions.

That last one caught my attention, because a lovely member from SF gifted me a couple of malas (one standard one and one small "bracelet") in return for a spirit portrait a while back. I used to wear them because they gave off such wonderful energy, but I never used them properly because I never meditated with mantras before. I'm thinking I should probably utilize them - or at least the standard quartz one! 

It's starting to get cooler here. In fact, today was a good first chilly day of the season. As my dad says: "Georgia has two seasons: hot and cold." It's pretty much true. We have only a handful of "perfect" days during spring and autumn. But like I mentioned sometime earlier... I'm going to try and enjoy the cold this year. It sucks because I have no meat on this little skin, and on top of that, bad circulation, so the cold is just generally uncomfortable for me. I'll try, though. Especially since cold is invigorating for the body (like the ishnan showers). 

Other than that, I've been feeling very crafty and productive. It's kind of irritating because school occupies my time, but I'm trying to enjoy school while I can, since I'll only be here for a few years. So I have to shove those feelings in the background for now and focus on my work. I do admit I have a little pet peeve when it comes to my dad; every day he'll ask me: "Were you productive today?" or "What did you get done today?".. even though he KNOWS I'm the "responsible one" who maintains an A/B average through all her classes. It's just a tad insulting, so when I asked him why he keeps repeating this question, he said: "I need to know that my money's being spent properly." 

I find that awfully hypocritical, considering my dad is the biggest spender in the house. He'll buy all sorts of things that he'll only use for a month or two before growing tired of them or discarding them. Hell, he just spent $16 on a pair of tweezers only to end up breaking them.

But I digress. 

Finny x