The Destroyer

So I've been re-watching Supernatural in honor of the new season premiere, and while watching the "Hell House" episode, I realized how much one of Sam's lines resonated with my current perspective: 

"Kinda makes you wonder: out of all the things we've hunted, how many of them existed just because someone believed in them?"

Of course, I'm now under the impression that this applies to the whole bloody universe. I find it interesting how people regard certain spiritual truths as "general knowledge." Not just in religions, but in spirituality, as well... like common ideas about guides, past lives, Akashic Records, twinflames, auras and chakras, and so on. "General knowledge" forms after one person convinces another that something is truth. Usually, the other person will accept it under three conditions: 1.) fear is involved; 2.) the other person is ignorant and can't judge for him/herself; and 3.) the idea actually resonates with him/her.

But my point is, I really do think that everything we experience is a result of belief. If we believe we're successful, then we are. If we believe in spirit guides, then we'll have them. If we believe we have past lives, then we'll have the stories to tell.

However, now I wonder: how much of this is pre-planned, and how much is created on spot? This post was inspired by a response by my lovely friend Trieah, who gave me an answer regarding my Shiva experiences that made perfect sense. I quote:

"If Shiva's the 'destroyer' of creation to make something new, then what you went through makes perfect sense. The build-up over the past two and a half years needed to reach the climax in this part of your life so that it could be destroyed and turned into something new. Your whole outlook has changed, and that was the point. You, as Shiva, have destroyed all your old beliefs, so that you could progress and become something new. But none of that could've happened without all that information leading up to what needed to be done."

I felt like I was just punched in the face (in a good way). Why didn't I think of that before? It all made perfect sense. But now... now I really do wonder if everything in our life is created by us, or if there's still something pre-planned holding us on course. When I look back on the last two and a half years, I'd say it was about half and half. Maybe even more pre-planned, because of all these little synchronicities. Hell, this summer is the perfect example. I didn't ask to find out about a life on another planet. I didn't ask for a "soul sister" who would mirror me in such a way. And I sure as hell didn't ask for a beloved guide of mine to be revealed as Shiva. And yet I can see all the threads that hold these events together, all waiting for the perfect time to reveal themselves. 

Many people I've talked to on SF don't resonate with the idea of their lives being pre-planned, yet there are still others who are relatively comfortable with it, because they enjoy the feeling of "surrendering to God." I think I fit somewhere in the middle. I don't want my life to be entirely pre-planned, but at the same time, I'm comfortable with it if it is, because I'm seeing from a higher perspective. This skin means very little to me now. That's not to say I don't cherish or value my life; I mean that when it's all said and done, I'm much more expansive than this measly little skin. 

Ah. Hahaha. Adonai's poking my brains again. Balance, it says. I should've guessed. Half of it is our creation, half consists of "guidelines." A loose sketch of what we generally want from each life. Resonates with me. Really fits with its "game" metaphor too... in the beginning, we decide on what type of "character" this particular face will be: give it a look, traits, interests, a general story... and then we throw ourselves into the game and plow through on our own power, fighting bosses and discovering information about ourselves that we weren't aware of.

I like that.
It's really cool to see how it all lines up, though. Without "Spike," I wouldn't have gotten to where I am today. Without Medium Laura and that kind older woman from SF, I wouldn't have figured out information about "Spike" that would contribute to my current understanding. Without the Eron life, I wouldn't have experimented with my own power as much - nor would I have inspiration for my writing. Without Lulu's orbit in my life, I wouldn't have faced my ego problems. Without J, I wouldn't have accepted Shiva being Spike so easily. Without any of the crap that happened in the past several weeks, I wouldn't be at this current vibration. 

"Timing" was a very common and important theme during August. Lulu knows this well, too. It seemed like every question we had was answered with: "it's not the right time." So with that in mind, it's clear that some amount ("half") of our lives are pre-planned. But the thing is, I don't necessarily see it as "pre-planned," because if you take away identity (which I've pretty much done already), you over-stand yourself as Adonai, and suddenly, it's not a big deal if you pre-plan a life, because there's so much more to the universe than a measly Earth life. And no, that's not supposed to be pessimistic. I'm not taking my life for granted here, guys. I'm just saying that I no longer see myself as simply "Finny," so... this skin doesn't mean so much to me anymore. I'm everyone and everything.

I'm sure someone out there is thinking that this is bull, but I don't care. I don't care because I am you, who has his/her own vibration and truth, which I think is beautiful. So yes, as you, I agree that it's bull. But "you" think it's bull because it doesn't suit your vibration. And that's perfectly okay.

With all this in mind, I have to say I love Trieah's perspective... I already mentioned that Shiva is the face of myself that I resonate with most (so far?), and now it makes perfect sense why he's a prominent figure in my life. Remember when he popped up just a couple weeks before everything went in the trash? Yup. He was destroying my old beliefs so that, from those ashes, this new perspective was born. And as Trieah pointed out, this is the "full circle." You never restart at zero, but once you complete a "revolution" in your current perspective, the old perspective is "destroyed," and from those energies, a new one is born.

My god, it all makes sense now. And it's bloody beautiful.
So I have to give a shoutout to Trieah for putting together the final pieces of this puzzle for me.

Finny x

   

 

Intention

"Dao of Yoga" - by Geoglyphiks

Something I've been noticing lately is how powerful my intention can be. Readers from SF have probably heard me mention wanting to experiment with "magic," or an energy similar to it (I assume it's the same as any other form of creative energy). I was mainly experimenting with invisibility, which I would apply to my car and myself in various situations. 

I drive a beamer now. Before, I was driving my mom's '98 Ford Contour, which is 13-14 years old. But both of our Contours are becoming unreliable, so we finally invested in a used '06 BMW 5 series, which made me nervous because I didn't want other people being interested in my car (my school actually had a couple of auto thefts last year). I named it Pierre, but my parents wanted to call it Johann, so therefore... Johann-Pierre.

Applying invisibility to the Contour wasn't that interesting because I knew no one would want to steal an old car like her. But I started driving Johann-Pierre yesterday, and have been applying invisibility to it. Now, when I apply "invisibility," it's obviously not like I'm making it invisible to the naked eye. I'm making it invisible to someone's interest - so he/she doesn't walk by and think, "Hey, I want to steal this nice BMW..."  They'll... overlook it.

"Invisibility" is a mix between intention and visualization. To entertain myself, I'll borrow/visualize Zenoheria's ring (expect a post about this later for those who don't come from SF), rotate it three times on my finger, and then visualize the car becoming invisible. I then make my intention: "Johann-Pierre, you are invisible. No one will be interested in you. It's my demand that NO ONE will be interested in you."

I do the same thing in my math class, because my professor likes to call on random people to answer questions. Therefore, I imagine myself invisible and once again state my intention: "I am invisible. You have no interest in calling on me." Throw in some firm belief, and bam. Today was my 7th math class, and I haven't been called on yet. And keep in mind that the lecture portion of the class is anywhere from an hour to an hour and a half long.

The reason I'm bringing this up now is because I noticed something interesting today. See, I like parking on the bottom of our parking deck. But to easily access the bottom, this certain garage door has to be up. Ever since the beginning of school 3 weeks ago, the garage has only been up 3 or 4 times, out of 14 days. Every morning, I would merely request the door to be up. "Please let the garage door be open today." And I think there was only one success. Some mornings I'd make the request, only to find it down. 

But today, I demanded it. I said: "It's my demand that the garage door be up." I threw in some visualization and some firm belief... and voila. Door was up. Now, of course I'm going to have to experiment with this some more to see if it actually works, but I'm convinced it will.

So I'm guessing that "magic" is a mix between creative energy and intention. I'm not too familiar with Wicca, but I believe the process is similar... Through a specific ritual, and intention being expressed with certain resonant words, you receive a force that is black, white, or neutral. I always wondered why they tacked on "so mote it be," or "so be it" to the end of spells. That's part of the intention. When you perform the ritual, you are adding to your intention, but also activating the creative energy that will manifest whatever it is you're seeking.

Will definitely be experimenting with this more. I've also noticed that by intending/visualizing my energy to be white, bright, and expansive, people are more drawn to me. I get more stares, people are more willing to sit by me (even in close proximity), and people generally seem more open to my presence, whereas before... not so much.

Very interesting... 

Finny x